John Mayer walked around in a Mr. Douchebag shirt which he cleverly replaced with the word “Badass”.  US Magazine cleverly reports that it was right after he made comments about Jennifer Aniston.

“Listen, this is not a scandal, this is not an issue, this is not a problem, this needs no spin control,” he said. “There are much worse problems in the world. Everything’s cool!”

He’s right.  Who gives a crap who Jennifer Aniston is boning?  She’s a wrinkly faced sour puss who is always pissed.  John got in and out, just what you’re supposed to do with a crazy woman like that.  Had he stayed a little longer she probably would have wanted him to help out with the dishes and stop playing Grand Theft Auto.  It’s my downtime and I’ll do whatever I want!

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Gemma Atkinson went to the beach with her same old red bikini. Everytime I see her on the beach she’s either wearing a red bikini or a blue bikini. It’s true. Look it up. While you’re looking it up try not to forget the real reason you searched for ‘Gemma Atkinson Bikini Pictures’. I did and ended up on a 3 hour adventure that ended at a British Porn Site. Mission Accomplished.

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Elisha Cuthbert is really making the most out of her vacation. She’s looked great, then looked crappy, and now she’s back to looking great. She needs to make up her mind because this back and forth is bad for my penis. He can’t tell if he really wants to have sex with her or he really wants to have sex with her.

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Not sure whats going on with the hair but Elisha Cuthbert does not look as hot as she did the other day in these bikini pictures.  I feel like I need to take her to the groomers.  Then once she’s primped and clean, have filthy sex.  I mean that’s just me.

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Not only does Kelly Osbourne look completely wasted, she also looks like a 12 year old boy.  I don’t understand that haircut.  Is she trying to get hit on by lesbians?  I’m not trying to say that lesbians love short hair or softball or the WNBA, but they in fact do.  It’s been proven by science.  Also they love Will and Grace.  That show blows.

If you squint a little, Lauren Conrad looks alot like Carmen Electra.  Yes, she’s missing about 20 pounds of silicone on her chest, but the big glasses and feathery hair is spot on.  She’s even stretching her mouth out so she can prepare herself for Dennis Rodman.  Oh, I’m just awful.

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• Petra Nemcova flaunting it at an event
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• Hilary Duff rocks the cowgirl look - Popoholic
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• Scarlett Johansson is making a huge mistake - Ninja Dude
• Shia is the Al Capone of celebrities - Not Obsessed

• Listen to the New Kids on The Block single - Gabby Babble
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• The Sex in the City movie was better than expected - ICYDK
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