It’s Victoria Beckham!  In a fashion magazine!  Who would have thunk it?  I’m not entirely sure when this obsession with this lady here will ever blow over– her versatility is close to zero at this point with that choppy haircut she’s been sporting for a while now.  However, the people know what they want, and I have no choice but to comply.  Now I hope you’re happy.

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I have to admit that when it comes to Victoria Beckham, there are certain days when I look at her and I don’t have the immediate desire to give her a tongue lashing.  Why, with her short “stylish hair” and slim figure at moments I find myself thinking “Man, if that’s not the sexiest pair of chopsticks I’ve ever seen,” and then proceed with the tongue lashings.  Not even with the powers of Harper’s Bazaar have really changed that.

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What do you do when you’re someone like Victoria Beckham that rode the coat tails of star status by marrying a famous soccer player and playing a part in one of the world’s somewhat embarrassing boy/girl pop group era?  Discredit it.

Victoria tells the London Times that fashion was always her first love… And her fame as Posh didn’t help her fashion career. “Being in the Spice Girls, fashion-wise probably didn’t open any doors. If anything it shut doors and I’ve had to bang them down.” Now the pop star has left the stage for the drawing board and takes a hands-on approach to all her dVb lines. “Do I draw? No. Then again, nor do lots of designers,” admits Victoria. “But I know how a dress should sit.”

While being in the Spice Girls didn’t do much for you fashion wise, I’m pretty sure it did a lot more than what you would be without it.  An aspiring designer who can’t draw?  In my honest opinion, you’re more or less like every little girl who grew up with dolls, the only difference is sheer luck has caused you to have connections and a bigger closet.

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People and paparazzi alike crowd around at the LAX airport in dramatic suspense.  For what, my you ask?

Victoria Beckham, aka Posh Spice, had an airport arrival on Saturday more befitting The Beatles, according to an eyewitness. Crowds of photographers and fans went crazy for a glimpse of the former Spice Girl after she landed at Los Angeles International Airport.

“I haven’t seen that kind of madness in a while,” an eyewitness tells E! News. “It wasn’t like it was Michael Jackson or the Beatles. It was just Posh coming home.”

MY THOUGHTS EXACTLY random eyewitness.  It’s just Posh–dressed up like a carrot stick in a trench coat none the less. I swear, sometimes L.A. acts like they don’t get enough celebrities around those parts.

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Victoria Beckham, formally known as Posh Spice, is out to set the record straight about her eating habits.

The glamorous Brit is reportedly gearing up to sue the U.K. magazine Now over an article that claimed she was “hooked on sex and diet pills,” which has since mysteriously vanished from the rag’s website (though search results confirm the story once existed).

Well at least she’s not going out of her way to fight against the whole sexual addiction thing. Something like that could ruin her career.

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This is for the women who read DerekHail.com. Show your appreciation by e-mailing me your phone number.

Here is David Beckham on the cover of Arena Magazine. He may be AskMen.com‘s number one man of 2007, but I want to assure you I’m much better. He’s a professional soccer player, extremely rich, and wears suspenders, but how could you respect a man who puts his penis into a plastic doll regularly? Or, well, Victoria Beckham isn’t completely plastic, but she’s definitely more fake than real. I on the other hand am really good with computers and type 130 WPM. He ain’t got nothing on me.

Here’s Victoria Beckham fully equipped with her now famous large nipples in front of the Louvre in France. In addition to huge nipples, she’s wearing some monstrous shoulder pads. Not the type you find in a woman’s suit, but the kind you’d expect a 250 pound line-backer to wear. If she got down on one knee, this would be the only time I wouldn’t try to remove my pants. I’d try to run up a tree before I got impaled by the sheer size of her shoulders. Don’t believe me? Check’em out.

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Victoria Beckham, who recently moved to L.A. with her three sons and husband David Beckham, was furious when she heard that Paris Hilton called David “hot.” According to M&C,

Now she has allegedly told friends that Paris and other young Hollywood stars – including Lindsay Lohan and Britney Spears – better keep their hands off David.

A source told Britain’s Star magazine: “This move to Los Angeles means everything to her. She is happier with David than ever and sees this as an exciting chapter for her and their boys.

“Although she trusts David 100 per cent, she will not tolerate any of the Los Angeles party girls making a move on him, or seeing him as fair game. She wants this to be very clear from the start – David is a devoted family man and these women should forget about trying it on with him.

And, for those of you who did not completely understand the extent of Victoria Beckham’s warning, I’ll clarify it for you in a few words. “Lay off my husband or I’ll beat you with my lead filled breasts.” Any questions?

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