• Abigail Clancy has the perfect breasts
• Lindsay Lohan isn’t the only who can rock spandex
• Speaking of Lindsay, who is she banging now
• Brad Pitt’s kid is living large

• Amy Winehouse is on something
• Lookie Hea!  Hot chick in a bikini
• Odette is all smiles
• Kate Moss needs help in the bathroom

“Rocks are pulled by the gravity of Tony Parker’s head.”

Before getting married, Eva Longoria decided to treat her bridesmaids with a little something something. According to TMZ, instead of cheap handbag or something less tacky like a card, Longoria gave her friends Van Cleef and Arpels Sweet Alhambra bracelets. I don’t know what those are but they sound expensive. Most of my gifts end with the letters “onopoly.”

The bracelet features mother-of-pearl clover charms on 18k gold. The bracelet hasn’t even been released to the public yet. I guess when you’re a big name celebrity, people feel sorry for the fact that your husband’s head is the same size as the sport he plays. Oooh!

Guest post by Over Adulthood: where humor news lives!

Eva Longoria, who usually manages to both annoy and disgust me, has managed to turn my view of her around. Although, it doesn’t particularly matter because she is in love with Tony Parker. According to People,

“They’re trying to work things out,” Longoria’s rep, Liza Anderson, tells the magazine. “There is a genuine love there.”

Along with most things in this world I don’t care about, Eva Longoria’s relationship is one of them. But then you ask, Why are you writing about her? Because I needed an excuse to share these pictures. I mean her eyes just draw you in…I can almost touch them. Unfortunately my roommate walked in while I was caressing her face on my monitor. Yea, he’s weird.