Don’t let your eyes and ability to rationize things fool you.  No, this isn’t just some random fifteen-year-old celebrating her new found freedom from the restraints of school this summer, this is something perhaps far more dangerious–Tila Tequila begging for your attention.

As if being a bisexual asian with a bra size bigger than “zero” isn’t enough.

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I honestly don’t understand all the physics that are happening underneath Tila Tequila’s shirt, but I will never question its greatness.  Those puppies are damn near perfect for someone who’s only outgrown Tinkerbell by two inches.  If I was Tila, I’d make sure everyone and anyone enjoyed them while they can, there’s no telling when they’re just going to just break off and float away.

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Tila Tequila sure knows how to be freakin’ cute, not to mention know exactly what we want out of an outfit.  It doesn’t have to be covered in sequins, or be all asymetrical and crap, just direct us to where your boobs are.  Too bad she couldn’t provide some of us with a detour to her ass.

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I thought Blender was supposed to be a magazine for musicians.  What the hell is Tila Tequila doing on the cover?    Why is she even relevant?  Why doesn’t someone just throw water on her.  Wait, that makes Gremlins multiply doesn’t it.  Give me a break here, I’m not that caught up with my 80’s movie trivia.

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