Suri Cruise was caught flaring her fangs at David Beckham’s first game as an L.A. Galaxy team member. This adorable little girl either needs a diaper change or a rabies shot. However, Katie Holmes doesn’t seem to be phased by her daughter’s ferocity.

After the Vanity Fair photo shoot, Suri Cruise has rarely been spotted in public, which shouldn’t come as a surprise considering she was hidden away for several months after her birth before anyone saw her. However, as the Chronicle reports, other celebrities have taken their children out to play in the sunlight.

Most families, even famous ones, can be seen frolicking in playgrounds with their children. Brooke Shields has become a familiar face on the L.A. park scene.  Her children enjoy easygoing public lives that are a stark contrast to that of Suri Cruise even though Suri was born on the same day (April 18) and in the same L.A. hospital as Brooke’s little Grier, reports the mag.

Unfortunately, Brook Shields may be a terrible example considering a picture of her eating a banana would only sell for 75 cents, whereas if Tom Cruise was sucking on a banana, it would go for $75,000. But if paparazzi pictures weren’t Tom Cruise and Katie Holmes’s deterrent, it could be because the world is dangerous. Real dangerous. According to the Chronicle,

“That child is growing up inside a bubble,” says a source. “I think both dad [Tom Cruise] and Katie are so worried that if Suri is exposed to the public, her life could be in danger.”

Could you blame Tom Cruise? I’m told the bad guys use special teleportation devices to steal children who are outside or seen through a window. This is why I suggest living in a basement, in a small closet (no, this isn’t a reference for Tom Cruise’s sexuality, it is just safer there because monsters are only outside).

Tom Cruise and Katie Holmes are finally getting married and set a date for November 18th. After much speculation over the last few months, they have decided to make sure Suri Cruise was no longer a bastard. According to People,

The actor told Good Housekeeping in June that he and Holmes had waited to wed until after Suri was born because they wanted their daughter to be at the ceremony.

Like Suri is going to remember, care about the wedding. The baby will be too busy either crying or spitting up baby formula to watch Katie and Tom exchange triangular rings on a crazy stone claw alter with a picture of L.Ron giving a thumbs up.

• Reese Witherspoon is shopping in LA [Bricks and Stones]
• Matthew McConaughey has a dirty little secret [City Rag]
• Kevin Federline most likely bumbled like an idiot on Ellen yesterday [Dlisted]
• Matthew McConaughey and Penelope Cruz are back together? [Hollyscoop]
• A more complete Suri Cruise photo collection [Smart]
• Pamela Anderson is still hot [ICYDK]
• Natalie Portman is nicer than you. [Im Not Obsessed]