It looks like some lucky-ass photographer got to hang out on a lazy Saturday afternoon with Scarlett Johansson. At least, that’s how the pictures look, and that’s good enough for me. I’d almost forgot just how hot Scarlett is.

Damn.

Leave it up to Scarlett Johansson to appear in a high quality magazine like Harper’s Bazaar in Febuary to mix things up in a confusing sort of way.  Representing the month of love, Scar represents everything that it stands for: photoshoots on construction sites, loving diamonds, but most importantly–brothels.

…the whorehouse reference is all ScarJo, with no twisting of words. When asked what her ideal role would be, she replied:

“Every actor wants to work on a Western. I would run a brothel, like a madam or something. I’m working with what I’ve got. It’s only so long that people are going to want to see me in a corset,” she says with a laugh. “So I might as well do it now.”

Dear, sweet Scarlett.  Little do you know, it’s not that anyone truly doesn’t want to see you wearing a corset in the long run, it’s just we eventually want to see you take it off.

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Bring home a little bit of Scarlett Johansson for the holidays and make a difference in the world at the same time!  With a little bit of determination and an Ebay account, people can now bid on items used by celebrities.  Towels pretty much are a thing of the past, and Scarlett might prove to the world that a nasty hankerchief full of snot and encrusted with mucus is definately something to treasure.

Ew. And… ew, again.

NBC announced Wednesday that the tissue The Spirit star used to blow her nose during her latest appearance on the Tonight Show—relief from the cold she caught from costar Samuel L. Jackson, she says—will be put up for auction tomorrow on eBay, with all proceeds going to the food-gathering charity USA Harvest.

The success of this charitable and disgusting event will esstentially determine if Paris Hilton will auction off the feces stained flyer she used to wipe her ass off with at an after party.  The Celebrity Dark Ages slowly approach.

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I know these Scarlett Johansson bikini pictures are over 2 years old but she refuses to get in a bikini anymore so I’m forced to look at these old ones.  Now she’s engaged and will probably get knocked up and ruin her body so enjoy Scarlett while you can.  In 5 years she’ll probably look like Ellen with big saggy boobs.

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