Paris Hilton took a stand on her Myspace over allegations that she was kicked off of a yacht at the Canne’s Festival for indecent behavior in the bathroom.  According to her, the media is simply lying through their teeth.

Paris Hilton is slamming a new report that she and beau Doug Reinhardt were tossed off David Furnish’s yacht for hooking up in the bathroom.

British papers claimed the heiress was asked to leave after she and Reinhardt were caught in a “compromising position” over the weekend following the Cannes Film Festival.

“I would never do that,” says the heiress. “It’s so lame that people will just create these crazy stories. I can’t believe the stories people will make up, so gross! I’m so sick of all these false rumors. It’s not fair that writers can get away it. They have no credibility.”

Right, Paris.  I suppose that those old sex tapes of yours are stunt doubles that were paid by the government whom are conspiring against you, and those pictures of you at a Canne’s giving what’s-his-face a lap dance practically in the middle of a party for all to see was a hypnosis trick pulled by aliens from Pluto.  Unlike those crazy paparazzi’s, Paris Hilton, the resident high class trash we’ve all come to love AND hate, just screams “credible source.”

Our lives would just be a little less brighter without her escapades.

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Paris continues to make her neighbors’ lives a living nightmare, especially at the expense of her own.  She wreaked havok after receiving a prank phone call involving her beloved dog Tinkerbell.

TMZ spoke with Paris who claims she got a disturbing phone call late last night from someone who told her Tink had been run over and killed on Mullholland Drive — but it turns out the call was just a tasteless prank.

As TMZ first reported, cops were called to Paris and Doug’s place after neighbors say the couple’s yelling and screaming kept them up all night. It was the second time cops had been called to the house this week.

In this instance, I would hate to be any of Paris’ neighbors at this point, but if her little pooch really had to be scraped off someone’s windshield I’d hate to be anywhere within the state.  Despite how twiggy she looks, she packs quite a pair of lungs.

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Ahhhhhhhhhhhh! Love and drama is in the air once again for Paris Hilton and her new toy Doug Reinhardt, Amanda Byne’s former love interest.

According to E! News, Paris and Doug hit up Hollywood hotspot Teddy’s on Saturday night where a source says the pair “were hanging out together all night at a VIP table in the back corner with a big group of friends. Amanda was nearby at another table with girlfriends.”

“She was definitely within eyeshot of Paris and Doug, but avoided looking at them,” says the source. “She was trying to keep herself occupied by dancing and hanging with her girls, and made it appear as if she didn’t care about Paris and Doug’s escapades nearby.”

 Will Amanda have some sort of breakdown?  Hook up with an 18 year old out of spite?  Release some sort of sex tape to get even?  All of that and more will be answered in the next episode!

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Sometimes I have to admit that when I see Paris Hilton wearing

Sometimes I have to admit that when I see Paris Hilton wearing clothing as ridiculous as this, I am faintly reminded about all those crazy kids in Japan.  I mean, both her and those kids are able to wear clothes that indicate their obvious mental handicaps and still be hailed as “cool,” and I mean that in the sense of a parent that has given up the cause of having their six year old child wear anything outside of a tutu or Superman cape.

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