Welcome crazy people from College Humor. How about you check out Paris Hilton almost naked instead?

Do Owen Wilson and Vince Vaughn like to rotiserrie women?

The Miami Herald report that Owen approached a hot girl at Miami’s Purdy Lounge last weekend, proposing she get involved ina threesome with him and a friend (Owen’s good pal Vince was in town at the time and is widely rumoured to be the ‘friend’ he had in mind).

The paper’s source says the girl “was disgusted with the offer and declined.”

I find this hard to believe, mostly since the Miami Herald is one of the most unreputable newspapers in the country. They pretty much write whatever they want and as long as they think it’s real, it’s real. Just read that sentence.

(Owen’s good pal Vince was in town at the time and is widely rumoured to be the ‘friend’ he had in mind)

Allegedly, Vince Vaughn was in the same county and maaaaaybe he was going to drive 45 minutes and cancel the dinner he is having to be involved in a threesome with another man. That sounds believable to me.

Related Articles:
Owen is stealthy
Owen Wilson bikes to strip clubs
More Owen Wilson News

Every so often a man has a certain need that needs to be fulfilled and to put it simply, that need is breasts. Owen Wilson has demonstrated this point to the max.  He rode his mountain bike to Scores West Side. According to Page Six, a source said,

“After a few hours, he said he was meeting friends at another club to bring back to Scores and could he leave the bike. They said, ‘No problem,’ ” our spy reports. “It was a fun night for him – Scores, regular clubs, then Scores again. Who needs Kate Hudson?”

Can we say dedicated? I have never needed anything badly enough to ride a bike to get it. However, I’m a lazy celebrity blogger who won’t even step outside the house to avoid a missile aimed at my bedroom. But, there are other dedicated people in this world too. For example, I’m friends with a young white-woman who works for a phone-sex company and her typical character is a fat southern black woman who demands her clients to beat her with empty beer cans. Dedicated.

Owen Wilson was thrown out of an upscale supermarket, Whole Foods, while perusing its’ wares with his brother, Luke Wilson. He walked into the store without any shoes on, noticed the security guard who spotted him without shoes, and began running up and down the aisles while trying to evade the security guard. He was eventually found, thrown out, but saved by a fan who lent him some flip flops.

This story is just funny by it self. I could just imagine Owen Wilson running around grabbing things off the shelves while trying to evade the security guard. “Oh shit, forgot the chick peas. I have to run down aisle 5 again.” [tags]Owen Wilson, Luke Wilson, Entertainment, News[/tags]
Source

 

“Women have to be responsible for their own orgasm,” originally said by Gloria Steinem but paraphrased by [tag]Owen Wilson[/tag]. The New York Post recently ran a story about the “Butterscotch Stallion” who brought a woman back to his hotel room and licked her buttocks for over two hours. Owen decided to fess up to it and told Rolling Stone, “Ok, so I may not be the greatest lover in the world.”

I always knew there was something “off” about Owen and it’s not his nose. He is a virgin. Actually, almost definately not, but who and why would you lick someones buttocks for over two hours? Was he trying to get to the center of it? Did he want a mouth full of excrement? No, he just didn’t know any better, but now he does. Now I just need to find out where he lives, I have a sex secrets book. I will show him how to give a woman an orgasm, and it starts with picking her nose. Yes, that’s romantic.

Source