Ah, teasing with the tits. Many chicks do this: Mischa Barton is only the latest to do so.

Offering us a tantalizing peek at her side boob through the fabric of her dress… very clever, Mischa. Much smarter than I would’ve expected of you. But it worked, ’cause I’ve posted the picture.

(And I’ve managed to go so far without asking WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOUR FACE, MISCHA?) Just focus on the tit.

Well, I love side boobs. And teases are fun, I admit. For a minute.

So take a minute to enjoy the side boob look. And hope Mischa goes ahead and gives Maxim a call. They’ll airbrush out the cellulite, babe. I promise.

Photos by Fame Pictures

Well, I don’t know about that. After having her ass handed to her on a platter on The View, Mischa told reporters that her dog helps her stay stable. But check out this chick’s body. Certain allowances have to be made for a body like this.

Here’s Mischa Barton shooting for her new TV show The Beautiful Life. There were some rumors that she may be off the show when she was hospitalized, but obviously everything worked out. I can think of worse jobs than those guys in the picture, especially if they get to help her out of the dress afterwards.

And if you’re wondering why this seemingly vapid chick got her own show, check out the picture again. The body’s good enough for a show about models.

Now if only she’d been included in The Beautiful Life’s ads of naked people…

Photos by Bauer Griffin

While seeing Mischa Barton in and of itself is a treat for some, other’s claim they still want to see more.  Recently emerging pictures have triggered concerns over her loss of weight, and she went on her blog to tell her friends to essentially “mind their own business.”

“Just so you guys know I’m happier and healthier than ever,” the actress, 23, writes on her web site. “Things are really well in Mischa world and I’ve just been watching what I eat.”

“I still love my Pilates and yoga, and have cut back on fatty foods a bit,” she says. “My time in India and Paris really just helped me lose a little bit of weight but there’s nothing drastic going on!”

You’re right, Mischa.  There’s nothing bad taking place here.  We’ll have to wait a couple of months for your body to just suddenly blow away in the wind, then maybe you’ll come around to admitting it.  Don’t forget, the first step is acknowledging you have a problem.

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I can understand hot women and fast cars going together, but I’m finding it a little hard how Mischa Barton and electronics sort of go together.  What’s worse is the name of this magazine. Jack?  Somehow I get the feeling if Mischa wasn’t on the cover, those die hards that actually subscribe to this would have enough material to get off on.  For us normal folks out there, I’m glad this isn’t the case.

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I don’t know what to say about what Mischa Barton is wearing, but my best excuse is she’s been fooling around with a couple of British naval officers.  The only good thing about this is all that sea water must have did wonders on her breasts.  They now can float both above water and her dress.  Imagine the excitement if she decided to pull in the anchor…or at least did something with her face.

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Today, I’m going to give the rating on Mischa Barton’s dress she wore at some fashion event a solid five stars.  Why?  Because it stresses the importance of a celebrity’s breasts getting a fresh breeze down there every now and then.  God bless America…or China…or whatever for making wardrobes with a mind of their own.

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I didn’t know that a girl this skinny could have this much cellulite.  It’s unnatural.  How could she be cute from the waist up and be THAT much of a disaster down below?  She must be some kind of witch.  Looking into her ass probably turns you into stone…right after you vomit uncontrolably.

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