I want to apologize to everyone out there, but when I saw this face, I knew Melanie Brown was worthy of a post of some of her promotional pics for her upcoming exercise video “Totally Fit.”  If you’re not looking at her horribly exhausted face, or her breasts being pushed up into her chin, then you’re definitely going to be staring at her incredibly ripped and sweaty abs while it makes faces back at you.

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Former Spice Girl Melanie Brown is exercising her right as a tired old celebrity with some exercise videos she will be promoting.

“For anyone with jubbily bits, I’m going to tighten you up, make you laugh and enjoy your workout no matter what level of fitness you are,” says the former Scary Spice.

Brown’s three-disc set, Totally Fit, features a 28-day plan of aerobic and resistance workouts set to up-tempo and dance music, along with her own advice and tips on nutrition, including recipes and snacks. The DVD will be available Feb. 3.

Although Melanie B doesn’t look like the prime candidate normal people would really want to listen to about how to take care of your body (or pretty much anything else, she’s just that unimportant), all those overweight homebodies are just jiggling in their seats to add another item into their “things that don’t work” box.  I think if Victoria Beckham released a DVD about her 28 day plan on how to be super skinny and not break in half in the slightest breeze all while doing it in style, she’d get a bigger audience.

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Melanie B is trying to channel her best Jessica Alba while she’s lounging around in her bikini.  I must say, for someone who looked like they were pregnant with a small baby elephant a few months ago she is in pretty good shape.  I guess that’s one of the perks of having a personal trainer, because most women who just had kids look like they just came back from the Sizzler.  It’s been 2 years!  Get on a treadmill!

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Melanie “Scary Spice” Brown may have just had Eddie Murphy’s bastard child, but you wouldn’t know it by looking at her in a bikini.  She managed to get back in pretty good shape.  Maybe it’s because she’s been doing all the work by herself.

Eddie Murphy has revealed the real reason he doesn’t want to have anything to do with his 11-month-old daughter Angel by Spice Girl Mel B – because he believes she trapped him into having a baby

Yes, it’s pretty easy for a chick with huge cleavage and a tight ass to trick a man into putting his penis inside of her.

Although Eddie accepts that Angel is his daughter, he has said that he won’t see the little girl, because he doesn’t want to set eyes on Mel.
A source said: “He says he will have to wait until Angel is older before he can get to know her without any interference from her mother.”

Eddie Murphy should know that when you’re famous, your man goo is like liquid gold.  You have to guard it like Fort Knox.