When dealing with Mariah Carey and the festering rumors going around about her being pregnant, instead of believing the power of words, Ellen DeGeneres puts her faith in actions as she offers her giggly guest a glass of bubbly.

“You don’t have to answer that. Let’s just toast with champagne,” the chat maven benignly offered, after which Mimi became all flustered, first going the feigned shock route and then trying to insist that 3 p.m. was too early for her to start drinking.

“No, let’s toast to you not being pregnant,” Ellen insisted.

“I can’t believe her,” Mariah said. “Why would we toast to that? How about to the future? For both of our futures, who knows what they hold.”

She then only pretended to sip the bubbly.

So on second thought…”You’re pregnant,” Ellen said.

Now if Ellen DeGeneres’ show was more about undermining people and smashing rumors, then I possibly would be more than happy to sit between two obese housewives and watch the show.  Hell, I’d even bring the nachos and Little Debbie Cakes.

Additionally, could you imagine these things getting any bigger?

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Mariah Carey takes time out of her busy schedule to reflect back on her childhood with the press. One of the experiences she shares while growing up, was being a child to a poor single mother.

“I didn’t have the money to get… even really enough food,” she told Fashion Rocks magazine of her childhood.

Mariah, who was raised by a single mother, says the need for bare necessities helped drive her to stardom.

So, Mariah, you were forced to eventually sing for your supper. So you sang, and you eventually had one helluva supper. No wonder you’ve put on so much weight over the years; you practically didn’t know there was food outside of ramen noodles and fish sticks until you hit it big. Well now what you know what a filet mignon tastes like, you can refrain from the gorging and carry on like any normal whore would.

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Even though she’s now a married woman, Mariah Carey still craves the spotlight.  She made that clear by walking around the neighborhood wearing an insanely tight dress with no bra.  When is this broad going to give it a rest?  I really hope she’s not 60 and flaunting her body desperate for attention.  By then, Nick Cannon will probably have wiped her out.

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Nick Cannon has a tough living choice to make now that he is married to Mariah Carey.

Mariah showed off her spread (you’ll pardon the expression) in Architectural Digest — and Nick would be crazy not to move in to the Manhattan triplex. It has a steam room, an exercise room, an under-the-sea themed media room and a “closet” bigger than a normal apartment … or anywhere Nick’s probably been living.

Nick Cannon was probably sleeping outside the MTV studios waiting for his next show opportunity.  They love giving that dude shows.  Wild N’ Out was a horribly unfunny show that only idiots would enjoy.  I don’t think it’s going to be tough for him to move out of the studio he’s living in and into this obcenely big apartment.

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Mariah Carey better watch her back because I think this woman is out to steal her career. By cleverly changing the name of one of her songs, she has made one of Mariah Carey’s classics hers. Just try to go the rest of the day and NOT sing her “Ken Lee” version. It’s an instant hit. “Tulibu dibu Douchoo”!

P.S. I know it’s old but it’s still funny, kind of like fart jokes.

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There are tons of conflicting stories about what happened between Mariah Carey and Nick Cannon. TMZ says:

Exhibit A: Mariah’s nephew says not very cryptically on his Facebook page, as Us reports, that “what you may or may not have read or heard is not true,” even though he says he was in the Bahamas. Exhibit B: Nick’s fam “confirms” the “news,” claiming that he told them he’s married. Meanwhile, People says that the ring Mimi’s been sporting isn’t the same sparkler that Nick gave Selita Ebanks.

Then US Magazine says this:

Family member Linda Cannon told E! that Nick called her with the good news.

“Yes, we know. He called us and told us all about it,” she said. “We are happy for him. If that is what he wants, then we are happy for him.”

She added, “I’m not going to give you any details, but we are happy for him.”

Even the NY Post jumped into the mix and gave us this gem:

“There was no prenup – there wasn’t time,” said another worried source.

So in the end we know that they actually did get married and Mariah Carey didn’t get a prenup. Wow, this could end up being the most awesome story ever. I really hope Mariah gets taken here. I would love nothing better than to see that annoying diva working some drive through. Then Cribs can do another 2 hour special on her 2 bedroom apartment she shares with a Meth Addict.

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Yea, I know it sounds like it’s made up and it probably is because USMagazine is reporting it.

Mariah Carey and Nick Cannon are engaged, according to a source close to the diva, Access Hollywood reports.

Cannon’s rep had no comment on the report when reached by Usmagazine.com. Carey’s rep was unavailable.

Carey, 38, met the 27-year-old rapper-actor when he directed the video for her latest single, “Bye Bye,” in late March.

“It’s hot and heavy,” an insider told Us Weekly in its latest issue, on newsstands now.

“Hot and Heavy”? Who says that? US Magazine has got to be edited by a team of monkeys. They check their facts like once a year. And what’s the deal with Nick Cannon? Does he just get engaged to women so he can have sex with them? He was just engaged to Selita Ebanks. Nick, you don’t have to get engaged to have sex with women. Just tell them you’re friends with the guys from “You Got Served”. Chicks love that movie. Roofies also work. FYI.

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Mariah Carey loves to be center stage. Mariah Carey wants the attention of the whole audience. Mariah Carey doesn’t take shit from a backup singer. This video clearly proves all three of those points. At the 3:05 mark she pretty much yells “Stop Singin’ My Part” to one of the backup singers. The singer hasn’t been heard from since.

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