Lindsay Lohan acts all shy here. She’s not shy about showing off that rack, though, which is why I love Lindsay. But what’s up with that skirt thing over what looks like an apron? Lindsay should go all Lady GaGa on us and just forget about the skirt/apron altogether. But no, Lindsay wants us to think she’s shy. Who says this chick can’t act?

Photos by Bauer-Griffin

There’s a saying about writers: “writers write.” Which means that if you’re really a writer, you’ll figure out a way to write. I guess the same could be said for entertainers: “entertainers entertain.” And since Lindsay Lohan is supposed to be having a hard time getting work in her chosen profession (entertainment), I guess she decided to make use of a venue that provides a captive audience: the airplane.

Here’s Lindsay at the airport, getting ready to catch a plane. All I can say is she must have decided to do a peep show for the other passengers, featuring her tits. I’m not sure that will help your career, Lindsay, although I’m sure the heterosexual males on the flight appreciated your efforts.

Photos by Bauer Griffin

Normally I’d rather stick needles in my eyeballs than go shopping with a woman, but if she had Lindsay Lohan’s legs, I’d be able to make an exception and suck it up. And what else does Lindsay have to do since she’s virtually unemployable has plenty of free time on her hands?

See, I told you Lindsay wasn’t a complete cow. But look at that haggard face. This chick is in her early twenties! It’s the best “Don’t Use Drugs” warning I can think of.

Photos by Bauer Griffin

Lindsay Lohan celebrated her 23rd birthday in multiple bikinis. My kind of celebration. She was in a VIP area of the Cabana. I’d have gone. If I was invited. Just to, you know, hang out. Make sure she isn’t lonely. For a night.