Kirsten Dunst, who checked herself into rehab last week, is a real lush and her split with Jake Gyllenhaal is supposedly to blame. Why a relationship that might as well have happened four hundred years is to blame is beyond me, but hey, someone has to be blamed, so fuck him. According to US,

Whenever the cast and crew were out, she was the center of the group – doing shots and encouraging everyone to drink,” a source on her upcoming movie How to Lose Friends & Alienate People told Us. “There was no such thing as ‘just the one’ for her.”

I fail to see the problem here. A girl who is encouraging people to drink? That’s not depression, that’s an easy in. If only there were more girls like that I wouldn’t be a 25 year-old virgin living vicariously through celebrity sex lives on a website where nip slips are the number one priority. I’d instead be at the local bar trying to scam some free shots from Kirsten.

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Kirsten Dunst pictures

Damn! Kirsten Dunst is hot. Here she is leaving the Groucho club in London and she is looking classy as ever. Her cleavage is nearly popping out of her shirt, her face is twisted with drunkenness, and most importantly, I can’t find my fly swatter.

Kirsten Dunst, better known for her extreme ugliness and unusually large fangs, is a liberal. While most of America views drugs and alcohol in a certain light, she claims she views it differently. According to the Chronicle, Kirsten said,

I drink moderately, I’ve tried drugs. I do like weed. I have a different outlook on marijuana than America does.

“My best friend Sasha’s dad was Carl Sagan, the astronomer., He was the biggest pot smoker in the world and he was a genius.

Kirsten must have been stoned when she said this because its always the high people that like to claim how smart they are. And by they, I mean, all drug users. It’s a cult of people who view each other in high esteem when they’re either drunk or jaded.

Kirsten Dunst, who has been dating Drew Barrymore’s ex, Fabrizio Moretti, has decided to end her relationship. The reason at this time are unknown, but it has been reported that Kirsten is not wasting any time moving on. Kristen was supposedly spotted kissing and touching the Razorlight front-man, Johnny Borrell, at the Blender house at the South by Southwest music festival, reports Page Six.

What a vulture. Harping on the weak, devouring every sense of beauty, Kirsten Dunst just doesn’t know when to give up. How exactly does she kiss? For some reason I envision a lot of blood, a few fang marks, and an ambulance. Yea, we have a bleeder.