Celebrity Gossip by Derek Hail » Kevin Federline

Las Vegas is full of idiots

Derek Hail — Mon, 16 Jun 2008 11:41:23 +0000

Kevin Federline has been announced as the “Father of the Year” thanks to a Las Vegas Club.

Federline nabbed a Father of the Year Award at club Prive, while Spears chilled with her dad Jamie and an assistant at the Cinevegas party at Palms Place.

“I’m surprised,” Federline said when asked how it felt to win the title.

Federline, 30, hit up the club with a group of male pals — including divorce attorney Mark Vincent Kaplan — just before 1 a.m. Saturday morning.

Prive presented Federline his Father of the Year trophy “someplace quiet” at the dad-of-four’s request, so clubgoers didn’t see the ceremony, according to a source.

How is a Father of the Year award given to you from a club worth anything? Clubs are where faters go to get away and stare at young hot women. I’m pretty sure the old creepy guy at the club is a father. In fact, maybe that’s how Kevin Federline won. He was consistently the creepy old guy at the club. If that’s the case then he deserves it. t’s tough to be THAT much of a scumbag week after week.

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Why is Kevin Federline still working?

Derek Hail — Wed, 12 Mar 2008 13:17:41 +0000

As US Magazine reports, Kevin Federline is still getting work.

A source says Britney Spears’ ex, 30, may be heading to NYC in September to make his Broadway debut in Legally Blonde, the Tony-nominated musical adaptation of the hit film, Us Weekly reports in its latest issue, on newsstands now.

“He’s so excited!” a Federline source tells Us.

“This is his chance to show the world what he can do,” says a pal.

What the Hell? In my mind, you’ve got to be one of three things to want to act in a Broadway play.

You’re Gay
You’re name is Wayne Brady
You are desperate for work

Since Kevin Federline isn’t named Wayne Brady, he’s got to be one of the other two. Unfortunately, having sex with Britney Spears these days, doesn’t clear you from the first option.

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K-Fed is still useless, now fat

Derek Hail — Wed, 05 Mar 2008 14:46:02 +0000

I think the most disturbing part of this photograph isn’t Kevin Federline’s protruding gut. It’s not even the ridiculous haircut he’s sporting. It’s the fact that he has time to play golf. It’s an injustice to everyone who actually works for a living instead of banging a crazy pop star for a few months and knocking her up.

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Britney Will Not Get Visitation Rights (for now)!

phox — Tue, 19 Feb 2008 20:17:59 +0000

“Here is Britney setting a good example by almost letting her crotch out!”

Britney Spears will not get visitation rights for her children Sean Preston and Jayden James. According to TMZ:

…the Commish made it clear – the issues with the conservatorship being removed to Federal court have no bearing on the custody case.

Of course this is far from over because the lawyers haven’t been able to agree on anything and they will be meeting again later today. It is strange why they can’t reach an agreement, K-Fed wanted Britney to get visitation rights. What can we draw from this? It must suck to be Britney Spears and even worse to have to write about her trying to get custody of her cubs. Yes, that was an animal reference.

What a Colossal Douchebag

Derek Hail — Tue, 15 Jan 2008 18:38:39 +0000

The classiest guy on the planet, Kevin Federline, said he understands why people are obsessed with him and Britney.

“Even though everything is so publicized and everybody is looking at it, it’s normal for us,” he says in February’s Interview magazine.

“People put it up on this pedestal when it’s really the same way that everybody else goes through their stuff, you know? It’s not really any different.

“I mean, I could sit down and explain that to people, but they all already know how I feel,” he added. “I think the infatuation with the whole thing is that watching us go through things makes other people feel normal.”

Makes us feel normal…

Federline — who makes his debut on the CW soap One Tree Hill tonight — recently opened up to Usmagazine.com about life with Sean Preston and Jayden James. (Yesterday, a judge suspended Spears’ visitation rights indefinitely.)

God this guy is beyond annoying. What the hell is the CW doing giving him air time? Are they that desperate for ratings? Yes, Yes they are.

A typical family night “usually watching SpongeBob SquarePants, Cars or whatever the kids are into,” he told Us. “I’m much more G-rated than anything else these days!”

I can just imagine what that house is like. The kids are probably propped in front of the TV in their playpen for hours as they shit themselves, cuz “K-Fed don’t change no diapers Yo”. If I was given a choice of who to watch my kids, K-Fed or a Baboon with rabies, I would have to research the price of rabies shots before making my decision.

2008 is going to be scary

Derek Hail — Mon, 31 Dec 2007 11:33:12 +0000

Kevin Federline and Paris Hilton were seen partying over the weekend. If this is a hint of what’s to come this coming year, someone shoot me. I can’t take another year of this total douchebag. TMZ.com has video of him grabbing the mic and people allegedly heading for the exit. People, let’s all band together. Enough is enough. I would rather watch Rosie O’Donnell make out with Fergie that see any more from this guy.

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Britney Spears Pays the Lawyer that Took Her Kids

Derek Hail — Wed, 07 Nov 2007 12:48:53 +0000

If losing the kids wasn’t painful enough, Britney Spears has been ordered by the judge to pay Kevin Federline‘s legal bill of $120,000. According to People,

In making the ruling, L.A. Superior Court Commissioner Scott Gordon noted the “disparity between the parties income” and that “the vast majority of the … litigation deals with [Spears's] conduct.”

Well ain’ t that a bitch. First, he steals the kids in court and now Britney Spears has to pay for it. Now that stings. However, the court understands now that Kevin Federline is a complete loser.

Last week it was revealed that Federline grossed $7,436 in 2006 after business expenses. Spears, however, earns approximately $737,000 per month.

They might as well give Britney Spears another penalty. The my ex-husband has no job and needs to feed the kids penalty.

Britney Spears Breast Fed Child While Drunk?

Derek Hail — Tue, 30 Oct 2007 12:29:10 +0000

Kevin Federline‘s new girl, Nicole Narain, who starred in her very own sex tape with Colin Farrell, has made the claim that Britney Spears breast-fed Jayden James while she was drunk on vodka. In addition, Nicole went on to make several more allegations and according to The Sun, she said,

Kevin fears her erratic behaviour has left their two sons permanently ‘damaged’.

Brit has been warned several times not to leave the boys in her swimming pool unsupervised AND in her car without seatbelts.

Britney once made a pass at Nicole when they were in the toilet together.

You want to know what the inherent problem is with this story? You can’t trust Nicole or The Sun. The Sun is notorious for publishing crap and Nicole has been out of the lime-light for so long that anything she has to say you’d assume she was just trying to emulate the effect of another penis in her mouth on tape.

However, I could totally see Britney Spears coming back from a club hammered, waking up the children, and breast-feeding them in an attempt to prove to herself that she’s a good mother. So what if they got a little drunk, they didn’t starve. You think kids in Somalia give a shit about a little alcohol in their food? Fuck no. They’d be asking for seconds. Unfortunately, shortly after, they’d probably celebrate by having sex which would lead to 45 more starving children. What a vicious cycle.