Does anyone ever wonder why America Idol’s only true successful winner is always seen going solo?  Could she possibly be hopping aboard the Clay Aiken train and prefers same sex relationships?  “NO,” booms the loud screachy voice that belongs to the singer.

“I get that all the time,” she tells PopEater.com of the gay gossip. “People are like, ‘Are you secretly a lesbian? Because I’d really love it.’ Lesbians tell it to me all the time. I’m like, ‘I’m glad it works for you and I wish I liked women like that because oftentimes men are very hard for me, but I happen to like boys.’”

“I would never want to date [someone like] myself, ever. I’m a crazy person,” she admits.

I suppose in a gay relationship she wouldn’t feel as important.  It’s kind of useless having a great gift from the heavens like a huge gaping orafice occupying your face and not being able to use it all and any way possible.  It’s understandable.

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In possibly the worst news you can think of, Kelly Clarkson likes to walk around in the nude.

According to a close source who spoke to Us Weekly, the Grammy-winning pop star enjoys walking around her home in the buff, no matter the circumstances. That would include not just when close friends are around, but even when her home is “filled with strangers for photo shoots or fittings,” reports the magazine.

Kelly Clarkson walking around naked should be reported as an act of terrorism.  I would rather have someone violently kick me in the balls than walk in on that behemoth naked.  I can’t imagine how her “friends” don’t ask her to put some clothes on.  Unless her friends are big game hunters.  If that’s the case, they probably feel right at home.

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I applaud Kelly Clarkson. She’s not one to doll herself up and waste time picking out the perfect outfit for the cameras or television. Why do that when you can spend more time at the All You Can Eat Chinese Buffet? Why wear makeup when you can just roll out of bed, put on a stupid hat, and look like you spent last night throwing up? She’s even got the perfect “Eh, I’m a chunky pale chick. Wanna do it while I eat another bucket of chicken?” smile down. You’re a pro Kelly. A Pro.

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Before you get all excited, relax.  It’s Kelly Clarkson.  The words “topless”, “Kelly Clarkson”, and “hot” have never and probably will never be found in the same sentence…except that one.

Kelly Clarkson tore her vest off during a drunken strip at a rock concert in Hollywood. The “Since You’ve Been Gone” singer reportedly sank a bottle of liquor with Ryan Key – the singer of the band Yellowcard – at the Metal Skool concert at the Key Club before jumping up on stage.

A shocked onlooker told the New York Post, “She ended up tearing off her vest and throwing it into the crowd before playing a lot of air guitar.”

Gross.  Who wears vest anymore anyway?  What is she an usher at a 1950’s movie theater?  Oh and by the way,  she’s still fat.

Meanwhile, Kelly, 25, has been ordered to slim down if she wants to front a new healthy drinks campaign.

Kelly has been put on a strict all-organic diet and has even hired a professional chef to prepare all her meals while on her “Addicted” tour.

This is like the fourth time she’s been put on a “strict” diet and hired a chef.  This chick is a cow and loves to eat hot dogs and small herds of cows.  That’s just the way it is.  Companies should stop paying her expecting her to stay good looking, because we all know she takes her endorsement money and rents out the Sizzler for an hour.  You can really stuff that buffet down if there’s no one else in the place.

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