Kelly Brook didn’t disappoint at the GQ Awards. The organizers knew what they were doing when they invited her.

They made sure there were going to be some HOT chicks there. How else do you get dudes to put on those damn monkey suits for a night?

Kelly propped her lovely ladies up and swathed them in cloth: you know every dude there just wanted to give that fabric a good tug to see the goods wrapped up within it.

Hell, I would have. And I heard Bradley Cooper was there fawning over the bony-chested Charlize Theron.

That dude isn’t too bright.

Photos by FAME

Are you ready to worship at the alter that is the Sex Goddess Kelly Brook? (Well, I’ve never slept with the chick, so I can’t personally vouch for her sex skills, but I can fantasize. So shoot me.)

Anyway, seeing Kelly in that lingerie (almost naked) makes me ready to do all kinds of things. Like drop to her feet and worship (especially in light of the view I’d get looking up).

Those tits and legs… I could stare at Kelly’s shit all day. This is how the Creator intended for chicks to look.

Now I need to imagine how I’d get that lingerie off that body…

Photos by FAME

Hell, I don’t even know what Lynx Excite IS, but if the HOT Kelly Brook is selling, I’m buying.

Or at least seriously considering, as long as I also get to “consider” that luscious rack of hers. Don’t you want to just push the fabric of that neckline further apart, and treat yourself to the sight of those lovely tits?

So yeah, I’ll pay attention to Lynx Excite, if that’s what Kelly’s flashing along with that rack.

And if she actually SHOWS us the rack, then hell, I’m willing to BUY Lynx Excite- whatever the hell it is.

I’m easy. So sue my horny ass.

Photos by FAME

Now chicks probably look at these pictures and give a horrified gasp: Kelly Brook is out without her makeup?!

We dudes? Don’t give a damn. ‘Cause let’s be honest, who’s checking out her face with those sweater puppies on display?

Some British dude wrote a piece in the UK’s Daily Mail about how Gwyneth Paltrow looked too damn skinny in her bikin (Newsflash, dude: that’s ALL she’s got). But here’s what he said about our chick Kelly here:

While Gwyneth, with her willowy figure, exercise addiction and macrobiotic fussiness, seems to drive most ordinary women insane with resentment, most men are oblivious to her wan perfection.

We happily flick through the paper until we hit upon a small shot of Mad Men’s Christina Hendricks’ ample bosom, or Kelly Brook buying wallpaper while wearing a large sheepskin coat.

Men are supposed to be stubbly and dry with hard angles, so we do not crave more of the same from our wife or girlfriend. We want women to be feminine, which means a slightly rounded belly is preferable to a washboard.

Your girlfriend’s squishy bum and touch of wobble might look less than Pirelli Calendar perfect under the harsh midday sun, but it feels great under the duvet at the tail end of a northern European winter.

Preach on, dude. What straight guy would NOT want to curl up with Kelly’s tits under a duvet?

And don’t be fooled: Kelly knows all this. Why do you think she’s all but cracking her face with that grin?

Photos by FAME

We may be in the dead of winter, but Kelly Brook is still going to find a way to let us know she’s DAMN hot.

Look at her in these leather pants and sweater. (I won’t say anything about the wide open mouth- let your imagination do the work).

She even flashes some abs in one of the thumbnails below. You know, there are worse ways to dress in the winter. More chicks (hot chicks, at least) should take a page out of Kelly’s book.

Now Kelly just needs to get that hot ass of hers into another bikini for another photoshoot. This body should not be covered up, even if its a little chilly outside. Besides, chilly can be good. It can make things perk up.

Photos by FAME

Kelly Brook’s using her tits to sell her movie Piranha 3D. They might as well yank that shit out of theaters and put it on DVD- you know that’s what a lot of people (i.e., dudes) are waiting for.

When I see Kelly’s nude scene, I want to be able to freeze frame that shit. I haven’t even seen any bootleg screen caps. Either the security is impressive or the scene is over in a flash. All the more reason for the DVD.

Bring it on, Kelly. Hopefully I won’t have to watch you get eaten. By piranhas, I mean.

Photos by FAME

Did you know Brook is in the movie Piranha 3D? Did you know word on the street is that she does at least one full nude scene?

If you don’t know, and you’re a heterosexual male, then please schedule your meeting to check the validity of your Man Card at your earliest convenience.

I myself am waiting for DVD. Let’s be honest, a fully nude Kelly Brook needs to be seen in slo-mo, frozen, and be available to be watched Over and Over again.

You know damn well you’re gonna buy it just for that reason yourself.

Photos by Bauer-Griffin

Here’s Kelly Brook (and her lovely ladies) at the Breakout Awards in Los Angeles.

I don’t know what the hell qualifies Kelly as a “breakout star,” but if she lets those tits break free, then I’m willing to give the chick the benefit of the doubt.

I can’t wait to check out her Playboy spread. It’s sure to be one of the great ones with those tits. Kelly in a top hat and nothing else…

Oh, yeah, baby. Kelly is a star. A breakout star. Along with her lovely ladies.

Photos by FAME