Celebrity Gossip by Derek Hail » Keira Knightley

Keira Knightley in Vogue

thebrokenfarted — Tue, 19 Aug 2008 12:59:20 +0000

I have to admit, even though she’s not naked of scantily clad in the September Issue of Vogue, Keira Knightley at least shows you how somewhat versatile she can be when someone throws makeup and weird clothing at her. She still looks like an uptight little princess though.

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Keira Knightley: “I’ve Been Banned from Reading Newspapers”

Derek Hail — Wed, 07 Nov 2007 20:35:46 +0000

Keira Knightley recently revealed to Elle Magazine that she absolutely hates the newspapers and her friends have since banned her from reading the paper. According to the Post Chronicle,

“I’m a moody b*****d, to be honest. I’ve been banned from reading newspapers because the way they’re written angers me so much. If I want an opinion, I’ll read the opinion part of the newspaper. I do not want it when I’m trying to get the facts.

“I get incredibly angry. It really f**ks me off. See, I have to calm down about it even now!”

Anger management anyone? It’s a newspaper. Calm down. In addition, she revealed to Elle Magazine,

“God, I hate my mobile phone. It rings and then I realise that I don’t want to talk to anyone. So I always press ignore. One time I threw it into the sea, but then went, ‘Oh my God, I want to be eco-friendly but I’ve chucked a BlackBerry into the sea!’

“So I went diving into the water, which I hadn’t actually been in, because there were meant to be barracudas or something, and I sort of fished around but couldn’t find it anywhere, so I had to leave it.”

I actually totally understand Keira Knightley in this situation. I usually find myself looking for an excuse to jump into the sea filled with barracudas. You know, to show off my manliness and what not. I’m told women love a man with fish bites all over his body, so why not?

Update: I decided to move this to the top because I found the Elle Magazine scans.

Keira Knightley at “Atonement” Premiere in Toronto

Derek Hail — Tue, 11 Sep 2007 14:33:21 +0000

Keira Knightley is pictured at the “Atonement” premiere at the Toronto Film Festival and she still appears anorexic. While I have no idea what this “Atonement” movie is about, based on the pictures I’m inclined to think it’s a gaggle of anorexic women trying to find ways to hide food from their parents. The best part is, they never succeed.

Keira Knightley is not a Slut

Derek Hail — Fri, 31 Aug 2007 14:45:25 +0000

Keira Knightley has admitted she is shocked by celebrities like Lindsay Lohan and Britney Spears parading arounnd like drunken sluts everyday of the week. While at the Venice Film Festival, shortly after “Atonement” received “critical acclaim” Keira Knightley revealed,

“I’m not going to get blind drunk and then stumble out and fall over and puke up in front of people

I’m not saying I don’t do that in private, but I try not to… They’re real people proving they’re sluttier than everybody else because they don’t even wear knickers.”

Of course Keira knows how to party in private. Basically, if you get Keira Knightley drunk in the privacy of her home, she’ll be running around naked with a lightsaber trying to cut you.