If I was Kate Winslet, someone who probably knew beforehand she would be walking home with an Oscar for Best Actress in a Leading Role in “The Reader,” I might have dressed a little better.  Her face and make-up look stunning, but the dress could have used something to keep it looking like she enlisted a college intern to make her dress.

No biggie though.  Ultimately, it’s what you say on stage before the orchestra kicks you off that makes a difference, right?

Winslet was giddy and emotional as she accepted her trophy.

“I’d be lying if I haven’t made a version of this speech before,” she said. “I think I was probably 8 years old and staring into the bathroom mirror and this (Oscar) would be a shampoo bottle. But it’s not a shampoo bottle now.”

Well she screwed that one up for me.  If she’s been practicing since coming out of the womb, then she definately could have worn a better dress.

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It was a good night over at the 15th annual Screen Actor’s Guild Awards Ceremony for a lot of people, but mostly for the people who you’d expect.  Heath Ledgers corpse ran away with something alongside Tina Fey for her continuously award winning comedy and Kate Winslet for her role as a concentration officer who goes on to have an affair with a teenager in The Reader.  Meryl Streep even got something, despite the fact that she could have cared less and  didn’t bother buying a dress for such an occassion.

“I didn’t even buy a dress!” a breathless Streep exclaimed. “I’m really, really, really shocked! And even though awards mean nothing to me anymore, I’m really happy.

You ungrateful brute.

What exactly are the qualities that attract women to significantly older men?  Well, I suppose for some reason the Grey hair seems to be common, but when you’re talking to someone like Kate Winslet could wrinkles and liver spots be a factor?

“Eli Wallach is my very own Sexiest Man Alive!” Winslet gushed Sunday night at a gala honoring her friend and fellow actor Wallach, 92.

“He could go take after take after take …” she says. On set, “there were days, I must confess, when I’d worry about him getting tired. But not Eli. Oh, no, no, no. I’d say to him, ‘Eli, please, would you go home now … We’ve been here for 20 hours and it’s nearly midnight and you’ve done your close up!’ But he’d look at me, almost offended, and say, ‘Oh no … I’m not going home. Not when I’m playing with you!’ “

That last bit I left in for your imagination.  In reality, she was talking about the movie “The Holiday” she “played with” the old man.  You pervs.

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December’s issue of Vanity Fair features a couple of risque pictures of Kate Winslet.  Could use less close ups of her face, and more zoom ins of…well you know what I’m talking about.  But a scantily clad lady is always welcome, I like to say.

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