Celebrity Gossip by Derek Hail » Kate Moss

Kate Moss Immortalized with Gold Statue

thebrokenfarted — Fri, 29 Aug 2008 11:00:29 +0000

Everyone seems to love Kate Moss so much that Thursday in London she was unveiled as a solid gold statue.

The 50 kilogramme (110-pound) work is by artist Marc Quinn, previously famous for a controversial sculpture installed in London’s Trafalgar Square of a pregnant woman with no arms due to a medical condition.

“I thought the next thing to do would be to make a sculpture of the person who’s the ideal beauty of the moment. But even Kate Moss doesn’t live up to the image,” he said.

Geez, I know in the UK Kate Moss has to be the hottest due to the infamy of its women having stringy hair and bad teeth, but did you really have to dedicate a statue to what I see as “the only British woman anyone outside of here would ever bang?” Next you’ll open a museum centered around the one time you got some American dude to publicly drink breakfast tea and actually seem to enjoy it. You guys need to get outside more.

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Kate Moss’s Fangs in December 2007 Vogue Magazine

Derek Hail — Fri, 02 Nov 2007 10:58:10 +0000

Kate Moss in the December 2007 issue of Vogue Magazine exemplifies the importance of a perfect smile in advertising campaigns. While these ads have nothing to do with cosmetic dentistry, they would be perfect. Silk-satin and tulle dress – £5,800, Gold and pearl ring – £4,200, and porcelain veneers $900-2200 each because no matter how much money you spend on your clothing, your teeth could still screw up your outfit.

The Titty Tussle: Kate Moss Fights Sienna Miller

Derek Hail — Tue, 25 Sep 2007 08:57:07 +0000

Kate Moss and Sienna Miller allegedly had a catfight over Rhys Ifans at a mutual friend’s reception. Despite no blood being shed, Kate Moss mustered a high enough BAC to accuse Sienna Miller of being a thief. According to The Sun,

“Kate had a go at Sienna and accused her of stealing her style. She was ranting on about how Sienna was now trying to steal her lifestyle and her friends too.

“It was really cutting and everyone was listening to them.

“A few drinks had been sunk by the time Kate said it and Sienna had plucked up some Dutch courage too. She gave Kate as good as she got.”

The last time I saw a cat fight between two women, was when I got my ass kicked by a doublewide, food slinging, fat woman and just like Sienna, I gave her as good as I got, but let me tell you, it’s hard for a man to fight in a dress. I’m sure if I had a few drinks, I would have pounded that woman. You know, more cushion… I disgust myself sometimes.

Kate Moss is a Nasty Old Rag says Pete Doherty

Derek Hail — Wed, 01 Aug 2007 15:19:17 +0000

Kate Moss was infuriated when she discovered that her ex-boyfriend Pete Doherty called her a “nasty old rag” in a recent interview. She smashed pictures, threw a wine glass, and went into a screaming fit. According to the Daily Mail,

In it, the heroin and crack-addled singer described Miss Moss in one breath as a “nasty old rag” who would jealously lash out at him and once “kicked him in the head”.

In a second interview today, which will no doubt further fuel the model’s anger, he said his relationship with the model “became like the Vietnam war.”

He added: “I was always dodging bullets.”

Yea, and I’d imagine dodging bullets is real hard when you’re trying to stick a needle in your arm. I could barely run and talk at the same time. Could you imagine this putz zig-zagging down the street with a tourniquet dangling from his mouth and a needle in his arm?

A Kate Moss Sex Tape?

Derek Hail — Mon, 23 Jul 2007 15:36:53 +0000

Kate Moss is reportedly worried about having a sex tape leaked to the internet after a very bad split with Pete Doherty. According to the Chronicle,

The UK Sun reports that Kate Moss and Pete Doherty were very thorough about making home videos, documenting their relationship everywhere with a camcorder.

After their messy split, Kate found six of the tapes but is concerned that Pete, who is a self-confessed drug addict, could sell the missing two. A source told Britain’s The Sun newspaper: “There are still some bits and pieces floating about of Pete with Kate. She has got rid of most of it. Six out of eight tapes have been destroyed.

I’m not quite sure how a woman has sex with a passed out drug addict, but I’m pretty sure she ties a few straws around Pete’s penis to simulate an erection because that’s what I would do. Nothing like a few straws and Scotch tape to cure ED.

Kate Moss tossed Pete Doherty on his ass

Derek Hail — Thu, 05 Jul 2007 16:08:42 +0000

After Kate Moss discovered that Pete Doherty had an alleged fling with a South African woman, she reportedly threw him out of the house and does not plan to take him back. According to the Mirror,

“They had some terrible slanging matches over the weekend, some of the worst of their relationship. Kate is absolutely furious. She hates being made a fool of and gets incredibly jealous. She just won’t stand for infidelity.”

After a long relationship, one would expect heart-break. In this particular case, it’s like fighting cancer or HIV and winning. Kicking the Pete habit was the best move Kate Moss could possibly do. She’s a super-model, he’s a super-junky. She’s hot, he’s not. She treads the runway, he treads his veins. It just wasn’t a good fit. However, I’m sure this dumb blonde will take this shitty boyfriend back. It wouldn’t be a surprise.

Pete Doherty Cheated on Kate Moss, Allegedly

Derek Hail — Mon, 02 Jul 2007 14:46:54 +0000

Pete Doherty has allegedly cheated on Kate Moss last Thursday with a South African brunette named Lindy. He supposedly met her at London’s Crystal nightclub and was alalegedly seen “kissing and cuddling.” According to M&C,

“They went up the street for a while then came back inside where they had an intense chat for ages. There was lots of flirting and laughing. Then we saw four of them get into a cab and head off.”

The pair reportedly spent the night at Pete’s friend’s house, where they “disappeared into a bedroom together”.

What the hell is on Pete’s mind? The girl is an “unflushable,” but she’s bound to break after he got some OV (other vagina). But, hey, at least it isn’t heroin. Right?

Leave The Needles Out: Kate Moss to Marry Pete Doherty

Derek Hail — Fri, 22 Jun 2007 13:56:39 +0000

Pete Doherty and Kate Moss are allegedly set to wed this summer assuming Pete can kick the crack/heroin addiction. In Pete Doherty’s memoir, “The Books of Albion,” he writes,

“Smack and needle-free we shall marry in the summer and I become 10 times happier than any given smackhead. Huzzah!”

He never said he was a writer, but lets admire his attempt at being poetic. In addition, a love note from Kate Moss was also printed in the memoir. The note said,

You have touched my heart and soul you little [bleep]er . . . You make me high my sweet. My skin shivers and longs to be held by you.”

Awww, how romantic… The last time I was called “you little fucker,” I was chased around the playground with a Super Soaker 500. You ever see that water gun? It’s huge. In Kate’s case, we need to fill it with ice-cold water to sober her dumb ass up for bringing home a crackhead to mom.

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