Joe Francis, the creator of “Girls Gone Wild,” has plead guilty to contempt and has been serving time in jail awaiting his full arraignment, which is taking place today. However, the short-term jail stint has been nothing short of anxiety inducing for Joe these past few days. According to TMZ,

He is isolated in a cold cell with only a towel and a blanket to keep him warm. And the poor, poor multimillionaire’s plight is being exacerbated by his jail ward-mate, Robert Bailey, who has been sentenced to die for killing a police officer. Bailey, according to Aaron Dyer, Francis’ lawyer, “would sit there and yell, ‘Girls Gone Wild! Joe Francis! Whoo!”

Last week, said Dyer, Francis missed the medication cart and “went into a full-blown anxiety attack.”

A convicted cop-killer sentenced to death? Joe must be paying this dude a lot of money to maintain his anal virginity in prison. Y’see, Joe may be a celebrity, but when you’re dealing with someone who is sentenced to walk the plank, I’m sure the only thing they’re thinking about is either tits or money. Joe has both. He’s screwed.

Joe Francis, creator of “Girls Gone Wild,” was arrested at the Panama City airport this morning because he failed to honor his end of an agreement in the ongoing court case against 5 girls who claim they were victimized by Joe’s cameras.
Even though Joe was on his way to turn himself in, an airport police officer recognized him and put him under arrest.

What a sucker. He isn’t going to last one second in prison, but I’m sure he’ll be inspired to create a new porn series – “Prison Boys on Male Toys.” Joe will be the toy of several big prison men who do nothing but eat, sleep, and fight. (source)

Joe Francis, the founder of Girls Gone Wild, was sued in 2003 by seven underage girls who claimed they were victimized by the Girls Gone Wild cameras while they were acting like drunk sluts. After Joe Francis failed to appear at a mediation attempt this past Saturday, Judge Smoak has ordered Joe to return to Florida to server jail-time until the next mediation attempt. According to the News Herald,

Smoak decided to reinstate the civil contempt order, which means Francis will be incarcerated until a formal mediation session can be set up and he participates in a meaningful way. The judge also said he would look into possibly starting a criminal contempt process.

Basically, in summation, a few drunk sluts were acting like… drunk sluts and they want compensation? You mean, the judge actually sided with them? Is Judge Smoak getting a kickback of the sexual variety? Since when do underage party-people get the benefit of the doubt? I can’t count the times the cops were harassing me and issuing me court dates for partying. Where the hell was the cameras then? I’m a victim here. “The lawn I was pissing on grew in my direction officer.”

As a tribute to drunken sluts everywhere, how about some links?

• You should see what we were doing 10 Minutes Later….
• Drunk Girl takes a Funnel while Sitting on the Toilet
• Is your Meat Finger this Big or do I have to stick with foam?
• Two Girls Making Out

Antonella Barba, the American Idol contestant who was seen in several naughty pictures, has been offered a contract from Joe Francis, “Girls Gone Wild,” to appear as a celebrity host for an upcoming film. According to TMZ,

“We have reached out to Antonella Barba through her family and are trying to reach her directly in order to offer her a hosting job for one of our upcoming video projects. Just like the American Idol judges, we at Girls Gone Wild are looking for a girl next door, with sexiness, attitude, a carefree spirit and a presence that will command the attention of the Nation.”

Hugh Hefner… Stand aside. The main man Joe Francis wants Antonella. Unfortunately, this wasn’t an option on the Wager Web betting list.