No, I haven’t become an English teacher with all my alliteration, but you have to admit, you look at this picture of Jessica Simpson, and you can’t help but notice that:

1. she’s blonde,
2. she sure as hell has some nice, big tits, and
3. those are both beautiful

See, I just speak the TRUTH, people.

And I admit, I still can’t get John Mayer’s douche-bag disclosure (but you can’t admit you didn’t like it) that Jessica was like Sexual Napalm.

Jessica, take it as a compliment, even if he should have kept his damn mouth shut. You shouldn’t have any trouble getting dates after that interview.

Photos  by Fame Pictures

Uh, Jessica, I’m not a publicist or professional photographer or anything, but I don’t think a clear umbrella is going to do much of a job shielding you from the paparazzi. As you can see by the picture of above, you can still be seen through the clear umbrella. Because it’s, you know, CLEAR.

Just a tip. (Oh, and maybe you need new handlers who can figure these things out for you.)

Pictures by Bauer Griffin

Yes, I know it’s old news that Tony Romo dumped Jessica Simpson the night before her birthday. But when I came across these pictures I figured they were worth posting since Jessica’s on the market again.

Don’t be intimidated by the bling of her first wedding ring: Jessica’s probably seriously lowered her standards at this point. She’s got it where it counts (namely, her generously-sized girls).

Do you remember the hot Jessica Simpson before she became a country singer poser?  We all do, but it seems like Jessica herself remembers more.  Now that I’m almost certain she’s not going to be staring in Miley Cyrus’ next music video, it’s safe to erase most of those memories of her in plaid shirts, cowboy hats and guest appearing at chili cook-offs.  What’s next in line for the girl?  After a couple looks at her shoot in Vanity Fair, hopefully a more classier, sexy choice.

Related Articles

Jessica Simpson Only Sells a Li’l Bit Of Country
Jessica Simpson Is a Fatty
Jessica Simpson Is a Little Too Country
More Jessica Simpson

Why so glum, Jessica?  Could it have anything to do with your bail out to country music being a complete flop?

A spokeswoman for the one-time pop princess says Simpson remains part of the Sony Music Group on the Epic label, but is no longer working with the company’s country division, Sony Music Nashville.

To date, the disc, Simpson’s fifth studio release, has sold around 178,000 copies — a long way from her 3 million-selling 2003 disc, “In This Skin.”

“Everywhere I saw her around the U.S. at different radio station events she was always well-received,” said Lon Helton, editor and publisher of the industry trade publication “Country Aircheck.” “For whatever reason, the music did not resonate.”

Could it be because of that whole chubby thing she had going on for a while, or quite possibly just the fact she was just a pop princess looking in to pool some money?  Quite simply, it could be her taste in fashion– including underwear.  We’ll let America decide.

Related Articles

Jessica Simpson is a Fatty
Jessica Simpson is a Little Too Country
Jessica Simpson is Damn Sexy in Elle Magazine
More Jessica Simpson

Everyone likes the South, right?  Well at least Jessica Simpson does.  After showing off her new chubby curves and shocking the world after singing at a Chili Cookoff in Florida (which afterwards she might have devoured–singing is very hard work, you know) her sister Ashlee lets rockets flare in her blog.

“I am completely disgusted by the headlines concerning my sister’s weight,” she writes in a blog post on her Celebrity MySpace page. “A week after the inauguration and with such a feeling of hope in the air for our country, I find it completely embarrassing and belittling to all women to read about a woman’s weight or figure as a headline on Fox News.”

And even Jessica’s former trainer tells her “You go girl”:

“She’s still sexy,” Harley Pasternak said on Tuesday. “She’s still a beautiful woman. And I have no problem with the way she looks.

“I think if more people looked the way she looks now, the country would be a lot healthier.”

Of course, no one fails to realize that Ashlee drastically reduced her size down to a 2 once the whole baby business was up.  As for her weight trainer?  Actually there are a ton of people that look the way she does now, and even more that can double as five Jessica Simpsons.  Of course you would want that; that’s how you still have a job!

Related Articles

Jessica Simpson Is a Little Too Country
Jessica Simpson Is Damn Sexy In Elle Magazine
Jessica Simpson Booed By Country Music Fans
More Jessica Simpson

When Jessica Simpson performed on the CBS Early Show yesterday, it looked like she was taking this country business thing a little too far.  Instead of being that hot country girl in tight short shorts milking a cow, she looked more like her mother.  The only thing that was probably missing in her act was two children dangling from her nipples and parts of her slip showing from under neath her dress.  We’ll still try to remember the hot you, Jessica.  God knows I will.

Related Articles

 Jessica Simpson is Scary Without Makeup
Jessica Simpson Cleavage
Jessica Simpson Wears Short Shorts
More Jessica Simpson

The thing about chick magazines like Elle is that men are subject to unwanted tampon and douche advertisements. So, consider me your savior as I am posting these sexy Jessica Simpson pictures from the latest Elle Magazine.

Related Articles:
Jessica Simpson boobs… Round 4
Jessica Simpson boobs… Round 3
Jessica Simpson boobs… Round 2
More Jessica Simpson