Heather Locklear’s arrest over the weekend is starting to show that some foul play was involved.  The “concerned citizen” that called police with concern over Locklear’s erratic behavior turns out to be nothing but a former papparazzi, Jill Ishkanian, trying to get some credit to put down on her resume:

Jill Ishkanian, who allegedly hacked into Us Weekly’s computer system to locate celebs after she left the mag, was following Locklear in the Montecito area.

sources say immediately after Ishkanian called 911, she called a paparazzi agency to give them the heads up Heather was about to be popped.

And it gets worse. Ishkanian apparently is the only witness who says Lockelear was driving erratically and that she was drunk, even though it’s already established she was not under the influence of alcohol.

Even though it may sound scandalous, I have to admit I’m not complaining.  If it wasn’t for the paparazzi, half of the news we hear about involving celebrities would be non-existant.  I mean, without the existance of those leeches, who would celebrities physically take their stress out on?  Right now I’m debating whether or not if Keanu Reeves running over a hobo or a member of the elderly seems just as noteworthy.  It kinda does.

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Heather Locklear was arrested this weekend for DUI, after a concerned citizen (that I assume is over 60 and regularly leaves the house with a pair of binoculars) calls in to the police about her erratic behavior, and the fact she blocked one lane of the highway with her really bad parking.  Turns out it was just her meds.

According to the incident report, a “concerned citizen” called police after witnessing Locklear, 47, “driving forwards and backwards over a pair of sunglasses and revving her engine” in a parking lot.

“The citizen became concerned when Ms. Locklear exited her vehicle and stumbled into the traffic lane…the citizen called 911 and reported the entire incident to CHP Ventura Dispatch.”

Would there seriously be much of a loss if we just kinda turned a blind eye to her self destructive behavior?  Could the loss of another blonde nearing menopause be that devastating?  I would like to say no, but people like that kind person that called in 911 was probably thinking “Melrose Place” in the near future could get it’s own spin off series like “90210.”  Well it looks like it might be rehab time again for hazy Heather.

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“Remember the time when they hung on your chest instead of your knees? We remember.”

Reports have been coming in all day and it has finally been cleared up as to why paramedics rushed over to Heather Locklear’s place this past weekend. The former Melrose Place star’s psychiatrist called 911 after speaking with a very upset Locklear on Saturday night. Apparently, the psychiatrist felt Locklear might overdose on her prescription medicine, so instead of taking chances, the doctor called emergency. When the paramedics arrived, Locklear was fine.

I guess she didn’t have the stones to take it as far as Wilson; although a suicide attempt might garnish more attention than the past 3432 tv shows she was on. Oh, witty joke.. I guess you could say she has been with enough pilots to fly her own plane. Well? Huh? Ya get it? What? Not that funny? Well screw you! You try making suicide funny!! Bastards.

I got the deal: here

Heather Locklear was spotted at Malibu beach over this past weekend and she has left me absolutely confused. I’m not quite sure what she is doing with her man-friend, but I’m pretty sure it’s a sex position or a great pick-up line. Women love men who can curl human beings. Suckers for large arms and pecs. I would know. I can practically rip a tree out of the ground with my ears.

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