Anybody who saw Gwyneth in her early acting days (Great Expectations, Shakespeare in Love) KNOWS Gwyneth has NO tits. Well, none worth speaking of.

With all of her money, you’d have thought Gwyneth would just buy her cheap ass a pair of tits. What the hell was she thinking, getting all cheap like that?

Well, it looks like Gwyneth wants to remind us that she’s still alive and hot. Not sure I’d stick her on the MILF list, though.

Starring opposite ScarJo in the last Iron Man movie didn’t help matters, either. Just made it even more clear how damn boyish Gwyneth’s body is.

So is Gwyneth an MILF or not? Decisions, decisions.

This picture probably wouldn’t even be worth posting (or calling a wardrobe malfunction) if it weren’t the notoriously tight-assed Gwyneth Paltrow. Proper, prissy Gwyneth flashing her bra at the airport! Gasp! I didn’t think she had it in her. And look at it: even the bra is uninteresting.

She’s all yours, Chris. Well, Moses is a cute little guy.

Photos by Bauer Griffin

If you’re a leg man, then Gwyneth Paltrow is the chick for you. So you may not know (or give a damn) about that GOOP thing everybody makes fun of her for, but does it really matter? Just enjoy her legs. Maybe you can even fantasize about them wrapped tight around you…

While Gwyneth Paltrow is giving Madonna support with her divorce, she’s definitely showing no love for poodles. If that dog knew it would end up being such a horrid looking mess that Gywn has draped on her shoulders, It would be rolling in its grave.  So…when exactly can I start calling her Cruella DeVil?

Related Articles

PETA Pays a Visit to Gwyneth Paltrow
Gwyneth Paltrow is a Rap Star
Gwyneth Paltrow and Moses
More Gwyneth Paltrow

As usual, PETA tries their best to be up the ass of America’s ordinary meat eaters and wearers. After posing with a fur coat to promote Tod’s autumn and winter collection, PETA have become outraged and are trying to start a flame war with the lovely actress.

“Gwyneth Paltrow won’t be the apple of her daughter’s eye if she flaunts the skins of once-beautiful animals,” says a PETA spokesperson in a statement sent to E! News. “Promoting an industry that electrocutes animals, snaps their necks, and skins them alive is a shocking example to set for a young child.”

Screw you, PETA. What you probably don’t realize is that this is the perfect example to teach her bratty child. More than likely, she prances around the house wearing fur coats, and when she sees her daughter she makes sure she goddamn knows that if she steps out of line, she’s going to be the next one skinned alive. Gwyneth should send them a video tape of her ripping out the heart of a Siberian tiger and then eating it raw. That would show them what she thinks about their bitching and moaning.

Related Articles

Gwyneth Paltrow is a Rap Star
Gwyneth Paltrow with Son Moses
Gwyneth Paltrow Must Hate Her Children
More Gwyneth Paltrow

There are two parts of the Academy Awards that are worth watching – the intro and the arrivals. Unfortunately, watching hours of “I Love You Mom,” and reflecting on the past, is down-right boring. The intro on the other hand, is usually funny, but with Ellen Degeneres at the wheel, that sucked too. Her talk show is terrible, and so was her poor attempt at comedy.

Thankfully, the arrivals are here to save us.

Beyonce

Cate Blanchett

Eva Green 

Gwyneth Paltrow

Jessica Biel 

Kate Winslet

Kirsten Dunst

Lisa Ray

Nicole Kidman

Penelope Cruz

Reese Witherspoon

u8mdL-kHYtE

Gwyneth Paltrow is a huge rap-star. She recently made a guest appearance at Jay-Z’s concert doing some vocals (video above). Not only does this puzzle me, it makes me laugh. Gwyneth, who sounds worse than a chipmunk in heat, still sounds better than Paris Hilton.

[tag]Gwyneth Paltrow[/tag] looks very happy with her new 2 week old child. [tag]Moses Martin[/tag] on the other hand already foresees himself being enslaved by the Egyptians or being tripped down a flight of stairs in elementary school.