Celebrity Gossip by Derek Hail » George Clooney

What is George Clooney thinking?

Derek Hail — Thu, 29 May 2008 13:31:11 +0000

George Clooney has dumped Sarah Larson (above) after dating her for a year.

George Clooney and his girlfriend Sarah Larson have split up after a year of dating, a source tells PEOPLE.

The actor’s rep, Stan Rosenfield, would only say: “We do not comment on George’s personal life.”

The pair initially met in Las Vegas nearly four years ago, when Larson, a onetime Fear Factor winner, was a cocktail server at The Whiskey Bar. But it wasn’t until the pair met for the second time in June 2007 in Las Vegas that sparks flew.

I know he’s George Clooney and everything but the dude is almost 50 and he landed a super hot 29 year old who is obviously a sex kitten. Is he thinking he can get a hotter chick? I don’t understand. I would think he would cling to this chick like a fat kid clings to a hamburger. I mean seriously, do you think a 50 year old man can find another ass that looks like this?

If he does, consider George Clooney perhaps the greatest genius of our time.

George Clooney likes Rock of Love

Derek Hail — Fri, 09 May 2008 04:42:12 +0000

George Clooney and his smoking hot girlfriend Sarah Larson admitted their Rock of Love obsession yesterday.

While recovering from a motorcycle accident last fall, she says they were glued to marathons of VH1’s Rock of Love with Bret Michaels.

“We caught ourselves rooting for someone or getting frustrated,” Sarah says in June’s Harper’s Bazaar. “And we were like, ‘This is sad.’”

I would rather admit to a cocaine addiction than to watching Rock of Love, or anything on VH1 for that matter. VH1 is essentially the same show. Some washed up actor or music star in a house with 12 whores. Someone has a great “connection”, someone has “deep feelings”, and someone has herpes. Which one will he choose! It’s so exciting!

George Clooney is smooth

Derek Hail — Fri, 25 Jan 2008 18:53:19 +0000

George Clooney had an interesting story about his experience during the Britney Spears custody battle.

“I’d gone upstairs, and I came out and I’m in a robe. All of the sudden I see all this s–t going on.

“I have a guest house where my assistant sometimes is, and I think, someone has broken out of prison and like escaped, because it’s a chase scene. It’s something out of Die Hard.

“I get my baseball bat, which is what you always get in every film – I actually think Clive Owen said, ‘Get a baseball bat’ – and I called up my assistant, who I thought was in the guest house, and I said, ‘Are you OK?’

“And she’s like, ‘Yes.’

“And I said, ‘Look, if there’s someone in the place, say the word stonehenge.’

“And she’s like, ‘What the f–k are you talking about? I’m in my apartment.’

“I go, ‘You’re not in the guesthouse?’

“‘No.’

“So I’m, like, ‘Well, then, what the f–k is going on?’ And I go out and I’m running around with a baseball bat in my robe.

“And it turns out it’s Britney Spears’ house is like, 300 yards from mine. So now I have to move.”

Wow, George is pretty clever. I would have never thought of using code words to see if there was someone in the house. I probably would have been hiding in the closet having already wet myself. Then when the cops arrived I would claim that I had been locked in there. What’s that on my pants? Apple Juice, I’ll say. It’s Apple Juice.

George Clooney: The Master Man with a Master Plan

Derek Hail — Tue, 03 Oct 2006 14:10:56 +0000

George Clooney has a sense of humor when it comes to the fierce celebrity gossip industry. His once master plan to deface Gawker Media was foiled, but that doesn’t mean he gave up hope. His new plan is to target celebrity photographers. According to People, Clooney says,

“Here is my theory on debunking photographs in magazines, you know, the paparazzi photographs,” one of PEOPLE’s Sexiest Men Alive tells Vanity Fair for its November issue. “I want to spend every single night for three months going out with a different famous actress.”

Explaining his plan, he says, “You know, Halle Berry one night, Salma Hayek the next, and then walk on the beach holding hands with Leonardo DiCaprio.”

George Clooney is obviously extremely sneaky. He was part of the secret stealth soldier clan, but he was thrown out. He was carrying a bag of pennies in his pocket while they were planning to sneak up on the paparazzi. Next time, he should just execute his plan, instead of foiling it for himself.