Look at this dress. Eva Mendes stormed the red carpet at the Venice Film Festival as part of the premiere for her new movie, The Bad Lieutenant (with Nicolas Cage, but don’t hold that against Eva). The real thing you should hold against Eva is this dress. It looks like a bunch of strips of fabric sewn together. What the hell was Eva thinking?

Well, despite this dress, you can still see Eva’s great rack and that ass, so I guess it’s a testament to Eva’s body that  she can pull it off.

Photos  by Bauer Griffin

It’s a testament to Eva Mendes’ hotness that she can be mostly covered up and still be hot in a photoshoot. Then again, maybe it’s just my memory of her far more, um, revealing photoshoots that makes me give her the benefit of the doubt. I just have to see the top of her tits and I can remember far, far more.

No need to go all shy on us, Eva. Flaunt what you’ve got (which is plenty).

 Fear not!  For those unwilling to or uncapable of looking through Latina magazine themselves, we have developed the lite edition: sans sex tips from old maids and diet tips that will continue not to work and leave you with all of the stuff you really care about: women–more particularily Eva Mendes.  Ahh… the wonders of technology.

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If this picture could talk, more than likely it include Eva Mendez parading around the red carpet for “The Spirit” in Madrid shouting out at the top of her lungs “This is for all of you who have ever wondered what a sexy bottle of Pepto Bismol would look like.”  I suppose half of that sexiness comes with the idea of near instant relief from an upset stomach.  The cause?  More than likely that dress.

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