Celebrity Gossip by Derek Hail » Cindy Crawford

Cindy Crawford’s Still Got It

Tracee — Thu, 25 Jun 2009 08:47:36 +0000

Cindy Crawford has got to be the Original, Ultimate MILF. And these pictures aren’t old, either. They’re for the July 2009 issue of the Spain edition of Vogue.

I don’t even care that most of the pics are in black and white. I can see the important stuff. This MILF has got it going on.

Cindy Crawford Pisses Off Peta Again

Derek Hail — Thu, 25 Oct 2007 20:51:41 +0000

Cindy Crawford, who was once deemed a sell-out by Peta back in 2004, has apparently sold out once more. Not that you or I care about such things, but here is Cindy Crawford in what appears to be fur on the cover of the November 2007 issue of Vogue. However, what the hell could you expect from a Russian Vogue? It’s like what, negative 50 degrees over there? What do you expect these people to wear? Windbreakers.

Anyway, here is the enlarge version of Cindy Crawford on the Cover of Vogue:

Cindy Crawford Drank From the Fountain of Youth

Derek Hail — Wed, 19 Sep 2007 19:11:36 +0000

Cindy Crawford is 41 years old and I can’t count the number of things I’d eat out of her mouth. That mole! It’s like a center of gravity. “Excuse me your honor, her face sucked me in. I swear.”

Here are the latest Cindy Crawford pictures:

Cindy Crawford Topless

Derek Hail — Tue, 31 Jul 2007 16:50:41 +0000

Cindy Crawford was spotted tanning topless in St. Tropez on July 29th 2007. Usually, when I think of a 40 year old woman naked, my penis crawls back up into my stomach and tries to gouge my eyes out, but in this instance, it actually pulled my fat ass off of my chair and walked over to CVS to pick up some KY. Unfortunately I was arrested on the way back, the cashier called me a real dick.

Cindy Crawford does not use Botox

Derek Hail — Fri, 08 Sep 2006 18:35:24 +0000

The above pic is obvoiusly old, but it still makes me happy.

Cindy Crawford is infuriated with the reports that she admitted to using Botox to help maintain her youthful look in a French magazine. Starpulse reports,

In the article, Crawford is credited as saying, “I owe the quality of my skin to my cosmetic surgeon,” but her angry spokeswoman Nicole Caruso states, “Cindy didn’t make the statements attributed to her in the article. We’re investigating this matter fully and intend to take all appropriate action against the source of the falsehoods.”

Cindy Crawford is a old wrinkled liar that I would still have sex with. Who’s with me?[tags]Cindy Crawford[/tags]

Roberto Cavalli Vodka Launch filled with aliens

Derek Hail — Fri, 12 May 2006 18:56:28 +0000

The Roberto Cavalli Vodka launch was filled with women nobody wants to look at. Why they were invited is beyond me, but here is why I feel this way.

Cindy Crawford use to be attractive. I don’t know what happened to her. All I think about is her mole that has lost its color and now looks like a fleshy overgrowth. If her goal was attempting to look like the witch from the Wizard of Oz, congratulations. You win. Grade A Alien – pure disgusting.

Lisa Rhinna wasn’t looking that terrible in the middle picture. She looked relatively attractive, but then I noticed her right breast. It has the biggest white head I have ever seen. Cover up anyone? PLEASE? Although, maybe where she came from it was attractive.

Grade A Alien – huge white head. Need I say more?.

Mischa Barton recently has decided she was done with The OC, and they were going to kill her off with a drug overdose. This may not be too far from the truth. She is looking sickly skinny in these pictures. Does she idolize Nicole Richie? Are we going to have to listen to how much she loves fast food?

Grade F Alien – just because she wants to be Nicole Richie.

Usually when I have somewhere important to be, I try to look my best and sleep the night before. Rosario Dawson on the other hand looks as if she was up all night doing whatever it is that she does. Usually I find her attractive, but today, she just wanted to fit in with the rest of them.

Grade F Alien – for being a follower instead of an innovator.

Anne Heche doesn’t look half bad here as a human being. But the dress on the other hand looks as if she got into a fight with some sod. I am not a fashion expert but that dress is just disgusting.

Grade B Alien – that dress is extra-terrestial.

Nicky Hilton is obviously Paris HIlton’s barbie doll. She tests out how to work her hair and put on make up. She usually ends up looking just as she does, overdone. Nicky needs to realize she isn’t a great looking woman and needs to stop trying to be.

Grade B Alien – too much make up – just stop it.

Aisha Tyler doesn’t belong at this conventiong. I have nothing bad to say about her personally. The only negative thing I could think of is how I wish she would go on a date with me. Everyone else should take notes from this woman, she is gorgeous.

She isn’t an alien.

[tags]Aisha Tyler, Nicky Hilton, Cindy Crawford, Anne Heche, Rosario Dawson, Mischa Barton, Lisa Rhinna[/tags]