Christina Aguilera wants us to know that that HOT body of hers doesn’t just have luscious curves: it smells good, too. At least, that’s the only good reason I can think of to have a perfume.

Christina’s at the launch of her new perfume, Royal Desire. I’d smell just about anything if I could see those tits of hers naked.

Yeah, I know Christina’s getting pretty chunky for a celebrity, but as a jazz musician I once heard said, “Don’t nobody like a bone but a dog.”

I hear Christina’s still getting drunk off her ass out in public. Can you imagine the sight she makes, especially if she wears something tight and low-cut?

Photos by FAME

People may be worried that Christina Aguilera has turned into a lush after, um, recent events (like being arrested for public intoxication), but she hasn’t spiraled completely out of control yet.

She was smart enough to pull out her two biggest weapons- those luscious TITS of hers- while visiting David Letterman.

Look at how the girls are propped up front and center in Christina’s little black dress as she leaves the show.

The more casual outfit she wore on the way into the show demonstrates she’s more than capable of keeping her ladies under wraps (although the near-hint of a cameltoe MORE than makes up for it).

Photos by FAME

Who cares about getting so damn wasted in public that the police throw your ass in jail? Christina Aguilera clearly isn’t letting it bother her at all.

She’s propped those massive TITS of hers up and is up-and-at’em here.

Did you know Christina is also going to be one of the judges on the new singing competition The Voice? Wonder if the contestants knew she was a lush before they went on the show?

Well, it’s still exposure if you want to break into the business. If I watch the show (and honestly, I probably won’t), I’ll be listening to see if Xtina slurs her words.

Photos by FAME

Christina Aguilera worked it with everything she had on the Golden Globes red carpet. Maybe she hoped if we stared hard enough at her rack we’d forget the embarrassing bomb that was Burlesque? Something tells me you need to stick to singing, Christina, but whatever.

I mean, damn, Christina looks like a damn mermaid here. A curvy, very sexy mermaid, but a damn mermaid nonetheless. And we all know she has no business at the Oscars.

But regardless of the smiles and curves Christina flaunted for the cameras on the carpet, it sounds like she was ready to cut a bitch when she ran into one of her Burlesque co-stars, Julianne Hough, at a party after the Golden Globes. At least, that’s what E! News says.

Me-ouch! The claws were out this weekend as Christina Aguilera and Julianne Hough had a hissing match at a pre-Golden Globes bash.

And, sources tell E! News, it looked like Aguilera was one the who wanted to do the bashing.

The confrontation took place Friday at a party hosted by CAA at the Soho House in West Hollywood…

“Christina really got in her face,” an eyewitness told E! News, saying that Aguilera unleashed a verbal barrage at Hough.

Onlookers said Aguilera even grabbed Hough, leading the Dancing With the Stars hoofer to snap, “Don’t touch me!”

Before the two separated, Aguilera threatened to torpedo Hough’s burgeoning country singing career. Hough was said to be “visibly upset” by the incident, according to one insider. “The whole thing was troubling. People felt bad for Julianne.”

CATFIGHT!

Now it should be noted that Christina’s rep called the story “nonsense” and Julianne’s rep couldn’t be reached for a comment.

But I believe it. And if they want to make another movie together, I’d totally pay to see these two duke it out. In a mudpit. While wearing string bikinis.

Photos by FAME

Burlesque has already bombed here in the States, but Christina Aguilera’s doing all she can to sell her movie abroad. She’s got the big guns up and out. Worthy attempt.

Hell, Cher wore something so sheer you could see her old-ass nipples at one of the European premieres for Burlesque. (I’d apologize for not being able to show you those pictures, but really, would you WANT to see that?)

Now if Christina wore a top so sheer I could see her entire tit, nipple and all, I’d watch that. If she’d shown us her tits in Burlesque, I can guarantee I’d DVR that shit.

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I have to wonder: does is Christina a burlesque dancer in her movie Burlesque? I haven’t heard anything about stripteases.

If she DOES do stripteases in the movie and we haven’t heard about it, that would explain why Christina’s acting debut (and Cher’s return to the screen) is bombing.

Christina’s clearly doing all she can to promote the movie. She’s got her girls all propped up for us. Now if she’d been like Demi Moore and actually showed us her tits in Burlesque, I bet the movie would be turning a profit right now.

Hell, I’d settle for seeing some more thigh in these pics.

Shame, really. Have the people in Hollywood lost their minds?

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I was tempted to title this post: So Who’d You Rather? but honestly, that would be a joke.

Cher may have bought herself a good rack (those tits are still upright, and at her age, that’s saying something), but come on: who’d honestly choose Cher over Christina Aguilera?

Although I must say, Christina, there are MANY dresses out there that would show off your tits far better than that green thing. Almost makes me wonder if you’re hiding a baby bump under all that damn fabric.

But Christina and Cher are starring in a movie called Burlesque. Word is it’s not much better than Demi Moore’s clunker, Striptease, but it may be worth a spot in the Netflix queue.

Photos by FAME

Christina Aguilera got her star on the Hollywood Walk of Fame. Hey, if Judge Judy can get a star, Christina sure as hell should qualify.

And in her trademark bombshell style, Christina made sure her tits and legs were on display for the ceremony. (Thank God)

Did you know Christina has a new movie coming out called Burlesque? Cher and Kristen Bell are also in the movie. I’m hearing it looks like a 21st century version of the Demi Moore movie Striptease.

I wouldn’t mind seeing Christina’s tits, would you?

But Cher can stay covered, thanks anyway.

Photos by FAME