Christina Aguilera wants us to know that that HOT body of hers doesn’t just have luscious curves: it smells good, too. At least, that’s the only good reason I can think of to have a perfume.

Christina’s at the launch of her new perfume, Royal Desire. I’d smell just about anything if I could see those tits of hers naked.

Yeah, I know Christina’s getting pretty chunky for a celebrity, but as a jazz musician I once heard said, “Don’t nobody like a bone but a dog.”

I hear Christina’s still getting drunk off her ass out in public. Can you imagine the sight she makes, especially if she wears something tight and low-cut?

Photos by FAME

People may be worried that Christina Aguilera has turned into a lush after, um, recent events (like being arrested for public intoxication), but she hasn’t spiraled completely out of control yet.

She was smart enough to pull out her two biggest weapons- those luscious TITS of hers- while visiting David Letterman.

Look at how the girls are propped up front and center in Christina’s little black dress as she leaves the show.

The more casual outfit she wore on the way into the show demonstrates she’s more than capable of keeping her ladies under wraps (although the near-hint of a cameltoe MORE than makes up for it).

Photos by FAME

Christina Aguilera is allegedly pregnant with Jordan Bratman’s baby, which pretty much shatters my dream of Christina leaving that hairy mongrel. According to Page Six,

“She’s been telling friends,” said one snitch, who revealed, “she has to be three months now, because she’s announcing it.”

I’m going to say this right here, right now. This baby is going to be ugly. Christina better be praying the baby takes after herself, because popping out a child covered in facial hair would just be disgusting.

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