Here is Charlize Theron wearing practically nothing in Madame magazine. The thing is, photographers try too hard to make sexy girls look sexy. What woman would honestly hang her head off of the side of the couch? It looks like she’s having an orgasm, but in reality, her blood is just rushing to her head, and it’s making her dizzy.

You know, the thing that I enjoy the most about the times as we continue to march forward through the 21st century is the fact that you don’t have to sign your life away to a convent and dedicate the rest of your meager existence away slopping gruel into the bowls of toothless hobos.  Take Charlize Theron for an example: Ambassador of Peace, high quality actress and, most importantly, one freakin’ hot dame.  It’s amazing how far we’ve come– while today we may have famous people posing nude for PETA, tommorrow we could have lovely ladies stripping for a large charitable cause.  I anxiously await that future.

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Charlize Theron is an Attention Whore
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Charlize Theron was spotted outside “La Esquina” showing off her curvaceous body to all of the bystanders. According to Page Six,

One bystander asked, “What’s wrong with her?” Another told Page Six, “She was doing that walk for almost five minutes.”

I still don’t understand the problem. Sure, she may have been acting like an attention whore, but it is Charlize Theron. If it were Michelle Rodriguez, I would understand being annoyed, but is is Charlize! I’d be throwing twenties dollars to try and get her to strip naked. Unfortunately, as the police were arresting me for sexual harassment, I don’t even think Charlize would save me. Bitch!