Celebrity Gossip by Derek Hail » Avril Lavigne

Avril Lavigne is Too Sexy for Malaysia

thebrokenfarted — Mon, 18 Aug 2008 13:53:01 +0000

It doesn’t look like Avril Lavigne will be going to Malaysia anytime soon. Avril is scheduled for an East Asian tour starting this month and her first stop is in Malaysia, however Malaysia’s Islamics are claiming that her performance will be, get this, “too sexy.”

“It is considered too sexy for us. … It’s not good for viewers in Malaysia,” said Kamarulzaman Mohamed, a party official. “We don’t want our people, our teenagers, influenced by their performance. We want clean artists, artists that are good role models.”

Well it looks like if they get their way, their teenagers are doomed to another school year getting off on some obscure artist’s shin, or getting it on in a back alley with a goat. I feel sorry for the poor rascals, honestly. There should be a charity where we airdrop issues of Playboy and Penthouse on their asses. I bet then, they wouldn’t mind a Canadian or two singing their heart out on their stage.

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Avril Lavigne goes to the pool

Derek Hail — Wed, 30 Jan 2008 12:20:13 +0000

Why does Avril Lavigne always look pissed off? She’s on vacation in Miami, sipping a drink and she still looks like she wants to fight. She actually manages to look less pissed off than usual here. Maybe it’s the Florida sun, maybe it’s the liquor, or maybe she finally got that bug out of her ass.

Avril Lavigne is Much Smaller than Petra Nemcova

Derek Hail — Mon, 12 Nov 2007 14:40:01 +0000

Avril Lavigne and Petra Nemcova attended the KOI opening in Vegas and they were pictured standing side by side. I’ve always been a fan of both Avril Lavigne and Petra Nemcova, but holy god, Petra is a damn giant. Her face is practically similar in size to Avril’s full torso. As a matter of fact, after further inspection, Petra’s left arm is the same size of Avril Lavigne’s leg. It’s easy to misrepresent a celebrities height in pictures when they are by themselves, but when they are side by side, the comparison is absolutely shocking. I’ve always known Petra was big, but come on now… I wasn’t expecting this.

Avril Lavigne is a Boring French Maid

Derek Hail — Mon, 29 Oct 2007 11:53:23 +0000

One of the main points of Halloween is for girls to dress up like sluts because they can get away with it. A slutty French Maid uniform usually does the trick. However, here is Avril Lavigne in her very own unique version of a French maid uniform and it is a complete disappointment. How are we suppose to stare at Avril with the looming threat of her stomping on our necks with white combat boots? What a bitch… right?

Update: Okay, so I may have misinterpreted Avril Lavigne’s costume, but I did get one thing right. She’s not as whoreish as she could be.