Celebrity Gossip by Derek Hail » Ashley Olsen

Jared Leto likes em young

Derek Hail — Thu, 17 Jan 2008 13:29:38 +0000

Jared Leto and Ashley Olson were seen making out at a club earlier this week. Ashley, who previously dated Leto when she was 19 (and he was 34) has recently been linked with cyclist Lance Armstrong. What the hell? Ashley Olson must love old saggy balls. I’ve never found her sexy, I don’t know what everyone sees in her. No ass. No Boobs. An attraction to Old Balls. There’s nothing there for me…

Ashley Olsen Made Out With Lance Armstrong

Derek Hail — Wed, 31 Oct 2007 16:27:10 +0000

Ashley Olsen and Lance Armstrong arrived at the Rose Bar just after just after midnight on Monday and according to the Daily News, a spy said,

“Ashley and Lance settled in and within minutes, he was whispering in her ear and she was giggling like a schoolgirl. They totally looked like they were on a date.”

Like a schoolgirl? The spy misspoke. She was giggling because she is a schoolgirl. In addition, according to Page Six,

“They came together with a group of friends. Ashley drank red wine, sat on his lap and they were making out all night. They left together around 2 a.m.”

Lance Armstrong is 36 years old and Ashley Olsen is 21. Go Lance! Now if he would just change his last name to Sagsack we would have the new hottest selling porn title. Lance Sagsack Gives Ashley Olsen a Full House. I’ll take two.

The Olsen Twins or Hobos with a Shopping Cart?

Derek Hail — Wed, 21 Mar 2007 06:35:58 +0000

Mary-Kate and Ashley Olsen in their recent years have been seemingly trying as hard as possible to both look and act like homeless men on the streets of New York City. With their wacky hair colors and white-trash antics, there was only two things missing to complete the story. The first was a shopping wagon, but as we can see, they have fulfilled that. Now they just need a sign begging for money. Whoever gets the picture of that, will obviously be the celebrity gossip king for a week.

Ashley Olsen is So Hot

Derek Hail — Tue, 13 Feb 2007 16:30:38 +0000

While Ashley Olsen’s sister, Mary-Kate, can be easily mistaken for an ordinary hobo in New York city, Ashley is easily looked upon as a piece of white trash screaming profanities in their underwear on their porch while drinking Bud. Here, Ashley Olsen can be seen striking a pose for the camera. So sexy. Assuming sexy is the disgusting, what we have here is the ugliest picture I have ever seen.