The Roberto Cavalli Vodka launch was filled with women nobody wants to look at. Why they were invited is beyond me, but here is why I feel this way.

Cindy Crawford use to be attractive. I don’t know what happened to her. All I think about is her mole that has lost its color and now looks like a fleshy overgrowth. If her goal was attempting to look like the witch from the Wizard of Oz, congratulations. You win. Grade A Alien – pure disgusting.

Lisa Rhinna wasn’t looking that terrible in the middle picture. She looked relatively attractive, but then I noticed her right breast. It has the biggest white head I have ever seen. Cover up anyone? PLEASE? Although, maybe where she came from it was attractive.

Grade A Alien – huge white head. Need I say more?.

Mischa Barton recently has decided she was done with The OC, and they were going to kill her off with a drug overdose. This may not be too far from the truth. She is looking sickly skinny in these pictures. Does she idolize Nicole Richie? Are we going to have to listen to how much she loves fast food?

Grade F Alien – just because she wants to be Nicole Richie.

Usually when I have somewhere important to be, I try to look my best and sleep the night before. Rosario Dawson on the other hand looks as if she was up all night doing whatever it is that she does. Usually I find her attractive, but today, she just wanted to fit in with the rest of them.

Grade F Alien – for being a follower instead of an innovator.

Anne Heche doesn’t look half bad here as a human being. But the dress on the other hand looks as if she got into a fight with some sod. I am not a fashion expert but that dress is just disgusting.

Grade B Alien – that dress is extra-terrestial.

Nicky Hilton is obviously Paris HIlton’s barbie doll. She tests out how to work her hair and put on make up. She usually ends up looking just as she does, overdone. Nicky needs to realize she isn’t a great looking woman and needs to stop trying to be.

Grade B Alien – too much make up – just stop it.

Aisha Tyler doesn’t belong at this conventiong. I have nothing bad to say about her personally. The only negative thing I could think of is how I wish she would go on a date with me. Everyone else should take notes from this woman, she is gorgeous.

She isn’t an alien.

[tags]Aisha Tyler, Nicky Hilton, Cindy Crawford, Anne Heche, Rosario Dawson, Mischa Barton, Lisa Rhinna[/tags]

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