So I’m not a big fan of Akon. He kind of sucks and it’s painfully annoying when all these rappers try to sing and put tons of effects on their voices to cover up their craptastic lack of talent. Thanks to the wonder of the internets though, we’ve now learned that it’s not an effect. Akon just talks that way. One crappy rapper mystery down, 1,347 more to go.

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Akon, after dry-humping a 14 year-old in front of thousands Trinidadians, has been branded by the “Chaguanas ministry” as “atrocious.” Pastor Dave Alleyne, the 14-year old’s father, and the rest of the Chaguanas ministry are attempting to place a ban on public performance for Akon in the local area.

For all I know the Chaguanas ministry could be a breed of people who worship Chihuahua’s and Iguanas, but I do know one thing for sure, dry-humping little girls is against their religion. How ridiculous! What’s next? Banning under-age prostitution?

P.S. The original video was removed from You Tube because of “copy-right infringement.” However, I’m sure it was because having sex with little girls is illegal.

Akon, just one 14 year old, but it don’t matter no.

Nobody wanna see us together, but it don’t matter no.

Fuck yea it matters. Here in America, we don’t have sex with children – even if its simulated. As a matter of fact, child pornography is pretty much looked down upon in all of the world except Japan, but their opinions don’t matter because they like watching cartoons have sex with robots.

Akon is just straight out of line. Why he actually thought it was okay to molest this seemingly random girl on stage is beyond me, but I’m sure he’ll have his reasons.