The Fat Oprah Cometh

Breaking news: Oprah Winfrey is getting fat.  Again.  Okay, so maybe it’s not much of a surprise to anyone since, for what seems like centuries, she’s been parodied as being the human blimp with a microphone.

“I’m mad at myself,” Winfrey writes in an article provided early to The Associated Press by Harpo Productions.

“I’m embarrassed,” she writes. “I can’t believe that after all these years, all the things I know how to do, I’m still talking about my weight. I look at my thinner self and think, `How did I let this happen again?’”

You would almost think the amount of time she spends yapping her trap that that would burn a couple thousand calories, but apparently behind the scenes, that usually follows after she stuffs her face full of Crisco or something.  Whoeever her trainer is though, I have to admit they’re really working hard for their money; nothing like having to monitor a famous figure on a hamster wheel to make sure they don’t fall out or drown in a pool of their own sweat and blood.

Related Articles

Oprah: Burn Baby, Burn
Oprah Winfrey’s Mom Has a Case of the Dumb
Am I the Only One that Hates Oprah?
More Oprah Winfrey