Jennifer Lopez is boring

Jennifer Lopez named her two spawns of Satan “Max” and “Emme”.

“Max and Emme are cute but, as starbaby choices go, highly unoriginal,” Pamela Redmond Satran, the author of baby-naming guides Cool Names and The Baby Name Bible, told Usmagazine.com.

I can’t believe someone gets paid to rate baby names.

“Christina Aguilera just used Max, which hasn’t been truly cool since the eighties,” Satran explains. “And Emme is an amalgam of Emily and Emma, the top two names in the country, which means that she’ll be in the same position [Jennifer] was always in, being one of several kids her age with the same name.”

Yes, but she’ll be the only one in the class with a huge ass and the face of a skeleton.

Perhaps Max and Emme show Lopez is still “Jenny from the block.”

“It’s refreshing when celebrities choose the kind of regular names that the rest of us choose and don’t reach so hard to come up with a Romeo or a Moxie Crimefighter,” says Satran.

First of all, Moxie Crimefighter is an awesome name. It sounds like an awesome superhero who uses her sexual appeal to beat up criminals, while wearing a sexy leotard. Emme sounds like her boring secretary who hasn’t been laid in months.

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