Jessica Simpson makes you “fun & fearless”

Tony Romo recently said that dating Jessica Simpson makes you “fun and fearless”. Whatever the hell that means…

“I was thinking, you have John Mayer, Dane Cook,” he said. “If you date Jessica Simpson, I guess you’re fun and fearless.”

That’s because Jessica Simpson’s vagina is probably lined with silk and her breasts taste like honey.

Romo’s remarks come after he spent a lowkey weekend with Simpson. On Saturday night, she gave him a lap dance at club Villa in Hollywood.

Since when is getting a lapdance from Jessica Simpson a “lowkey weekend”?! What the hell is exciting for this guy? If I had a weekend where Jessica gave me a lapdance it would pretty much be the weekend of the year. Hell, I’ll settle for a regular lapdance from a one armed midget stripper at this point. Seriously. If you’re a midget stripper with one arm call me.

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