Kelly Clarkson went Topless and is Fat

Before you get all excited, relax.  It’s Kelly Clarkson.  The words “topless”, “Kelly Clarkson”, and “hot” have never and probably will never be found in the same sentence…except that one.

Kelly Clarkson tore her vest off during a drunken strip at a rock concert in Hollywood. The “Since You’ve Been Gone” singer reportedly sank a bottle of liquor with Ryan Key - the singer of the band Yellowcard - at the Metal Skool concert at the Key Club before jumping up on stage.

A shocked onlooker told the New York Post, “She ended up tearing off her vest and throwing it into the crowd before playing a lot of air guitar.”

Gross.  Who wears vest anymore anyway?  What is she an usher at a 1950’s movie theater?  Oh and by the way,  she’s still fat.

Meanwhile, Kelly, 25, has been ordered to slim down if she wants to front a new healthy drinks campaign.

Kelly has been put on a strict all-organic diet and has even hired a professional chef to prepare all her meals while on her “Addicted” tour.

This is like the fourth time she’s been put on a “strict” diet and hired a chef.  This chick is a cow and loves to eat hot dogs and small herds of cows.  That’s just the way it is.  Companies should stop paying her expecting her to stay good looking, because we all know she takes her endorsement money and rents out the Sizzler for an hour.  You can really stuff that buffet down if there’s no one else in the place.

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