Jewel Attends CMA Awards With Fangs, Without Breasts

Here is Jewel at the 41st annual CMA awards with what appears to be two little grapes on her chest. While several other websites are speculating “what happened to Jewel’s breasts,” I’m really just left wondering why they care. Do you see those fangs? I couldn’t tear my eyes away from her choppers long enough to discover her boobs are non-existent, which leads me to believe… she ate them. Jewel ate her breasts. That’s what happened. Trust me I’m pretty much never wrong.