Ashley Olsen Made Out With Lance Armstrong

Ashley Olsen and Lance Armstrong arrived at the Rose Bar just after just after midnight on Monday and according to the Daily News, a spy said,

“Ashley and Lance settled in and within minutes, he was whispering in her ear and she was giggling like a schoolgirl. They totally looked like they were on a date.”

Like a schoolgirl? The spy misspoke. She was giggling because she is a schoolgirl. In addition, according to Page Six,

“They came together with a group of friends. Ashley drank red wine, sat on his lap and they were making out all night. They left together around 2 a.m.”

Lance Armstrong is 36 years old and Ashley Olsen is 21. Go Lance! Now if he would just change his last name to Sagsack we would have the new hottest selling porn title. Lance Sagsack Gives Ashley Olsen a Full House. I’ll take two.

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