Christina Aguilera is Pregnant

Christina Aguilera is allegedly pregnant with Jordan Bratman’s baby, which pretty much shatters my dream of Christina leaving that hairy mongrel. According to Page Six,

“She’s been telling friends,” said one snitch, who revealed, “she has to be three months now, because she’s announcing it.”

I’m going to say this right here, right now. This baby is going to be ugly. Christina better be praying the baby takes after herself, because popping out a child covered in facial hair would just be disgusting.

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