Keira Knightley is Not Naked in New Movie

Do you remember when I said Keira Knightley was going to be naked in her new movie “Atonement?” I was wrong. It was reported that she was pictured wearing a practically see-through slip after emerging from a pool of water. Unfortunately, the slip isn’t see-through. As a matter of fact, it isn’t even remotely see-through.

I’m crushed. Discovering a nude celebrity in a movie is like finding the toy at the bottom of the cereal box for adults. Except this time, I was screwed out of the decoder ring. I got that stupid mini-baseball card instead. I mean, what the hell is the point of this baseball card? How am I suppose to find secret FBI files without the decoder ring. Screw you Cracker Jack man.

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