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Jennifer Aniston Smart Water Ads are a Complete Joke

June 13, 2007

Jennifer Aniston Smart Water

Branding campaigns for products have always confused me and these Jennifer Aniston Smart Water ads aren’t any different. At first glance I thought, “Perfect! Water that enlarges breasts. And at $1.99 a bottle, what a complete steal.” Unfortunately, what we really have is some company talking about the importance of their water and why it warrants an astronomical price. According to Splash Magazine,

The self proclaimed “purest form of water you can drink” title doesn’t appear to come easily. It is developed through a stimulation of the hydrologic cycle- the process by which all fresh water in nature is developed. It is evaporated, molecularly separated and then condensed through vapor distillation, which removes what you don’t want- dissolved solids, heavy inorganic materials and other elements typically found in spring water.

I’m really proud to see Jennifer Aniston representing a company that molecularly separates water then is responsible for condensing it through vapor distillation. I have no idea what the hell that means, but I’m pretty sure it’s dangerous and has something to do with biological weapons. I may not be a Scientist, but would you drink water without “dissolved solids?” Fuck no. That’s the best part.

Jennifer Aniston Smiles in Smart Water campaignSmart Water PicturesJennifer Aniston Smart Water 2Jennifer Aniston Smart Water 1

{ 17 comments }

duddy June 13, 2007 at 12:37 pm

smartwater is so much better tasting from other waters. it’s not as heavy as evian… I don’t give a shit about who promotes it tho…

Derek Hail June 13, 2007 at 12:46 pm

I’m going to have to buy a bottle so I can find out it tastes the same now…

Julie June 13, 2007 at 1:13 pm

I don’t care about JA but I can’t dis on SmartWater. It really is my favorite. If you haven’t had it before and you try it, I think you’ll be impressed. Has electrolytes in it so you really do feel hydrated quickly. That is all.

kiki June 13, 2007 at 2:17 pm

Its really great water…. Was sick last weekend and deeply hydrated.. not to sound like an ad – but smart water really me get re hydrated…

drdisaia June 13, 2007 at 2:47 pm

The Smart ones are the makers for promoting it and getting people to lay down so much for plain water – purified or not.

Those that believe it to be so great for them need to read about the Placebo Effect?

denisee June 13, 2007 at 4:37 pm

Aren’t we missing the larger point? What do Aniston’s (fake) boobs have to do with pure water? Answer: NOTHING. Simply another chance for her to exercise her unceasingly, needy ego! The ad is all skin and tease and completely LAME. I saw it (could not avoid it actually) in the latest VF. Found it quite startling, like many others, to see it inside this special Africa issue. Are they planning to ship tons of Smartwater to Africa? To donate? Otheriwise I don’t get the juxtaposition. Very stupid marketing. But I’m sure that didn’t matter.

ava June 13, 2007 at 5:42 pm

i sooo love smart water, but i can never find it where i live

el polacko June 13, 2007 at 5:47 pm

haven’t any of you folks seen the episode of penn & teller’s “bullshit” where all the snobby restaurant patrons go on and on about the flavor of various waters ? all the bottles had been filled from the same dirty old hose in the lot behind the place .. hahaha. keep buying these expensive waters, suckers.

Vi June 13, 2007 at 6:58 pm

I don’t care about Jennifer Aniston but I do agree with the other people, smart water DOES taste better. To me it’s a little sweeter, and um tastier. Fuck I don’t know it just DOES taste better.

sue June 14, 2007 at 6:58 am

I’d rather drink smartwater than a 2.50 Gatorade anyday.

sue June 14, 2007 at 7:03 am

denisee, not stupid at all, don’t you know sex sells, it’s been going on for years. She is perfect for this product. I think she looks great for a 40 year old, very healthy. God, Pamela Anderson just turned 40. Damn, JA looks so much better than her.

Audrey June 14, 2007 at 8:30 am

Who cares? I love her.

denise' June 14, 2007 at 12:16 pm

Jennifer looks great and she is a wonderful person, the water is great.

Ben October 20, 2007 at 10:21 am

There should be a new rule: If you buy this water (any, you waive your right to bitch and moan about gas prices.

MCan November 20, 2007 at 6:07 pm

I have tried this water and it does taste very good. Im looking for places to buy this. You should really it!!

gigi February 26, 2008 at 12:18 am

I love smart water…it’s sales quick at Safeway! It’s hard to even go back to spring water! It taste like rain!!! As for Jennifer Aniston….She’s a beautiful person……And if ya’ll don’ like it…that’s your choice.

ns February 27, 2008 at 3:25 pm

I like Jen, but thats not why I bought Smart Water, I bought it because it is the only way to get electrolytes without having to drink Gatoraide sugary crapola. I have heard of the Placebo affect and know exactly what you meant by that. But the truth is electrolytes are good for you and I happen to really think most people are walking around partially dehydrated, so when they do pick up a smart water and get hydrated, I think it’s more then the placebo affect at work. I think they feel better because they are not nearly as dehydrated as they were. My hope is more water companies will pick up on this and it will become a trend which will help lower the price. And if Jennifer can get people to up their demand for this product that is probably what will happen and of all the crap products out there that we really don’t need and are placebo affect marketing wonders, this is not one of them. But I understand the suspicion of course. We are completely inundated with crap and jaded. But I really actually think this particular product is useful and healthy. Werther it tastes better or not, eh meh, I didn’t notice that big of a difference.

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