Sandra Bullock’s Secret to Success: Mind Blowing Sex

October 26, 2006

Posted in: Sandra Bullock

Sandra Bullock Hollywood Film Festival

Sandra Bullock, while accepting an award at the Hollywood Film Festival, exposed her secret to success. Before you jump to outrageous conclusions and assume she said hard work and dedication, I’ll cut you off and tell you you’re wrong. Her secret to success is absolutely great sex and ass cream. According to the Chronicle,

“You inspire me with the good loving you give me every day – and especially last night! Really. you have no idea.

“My favourite beauty pageant secret? I didn’t realise that putting hemorrhoid ointment on your face is acceptable in the beauty business. But apparently butt cream does help lines around the eyes.”

Sandra Bullock has always looked like someone sat on the side of her face, which must be how she applied the hemorrhoid cream. “Hey honey, put on your cream and sit on my face. I need to fix my wrinkles.”

Sandra Bullock Hollywood Film FestivalSandra Bullock Hollywood Film FestivalSandra Bullock Hollywood Film FestivalSandra Bullock Hollywood Film FestivalSandra Bullock Hollywood Film FestivalSandra Bullock Hollywood Film Festival


Andrew October 26, 2006 at 9:12 am

Hah! Well, in that case, I’ll get rid of Sanda Bullock’s wrinkles for her any day…

Lauren October 26, 2006 at 11:14 am

Oh god…watch now, all the girls are gonna be buying hemerrhoid cream for their face because it’s “trendy”.

Derek Hail October 26, 2006 at 12:51 pm

If I ever catch my girlfriend with ass cream on her face, it’s over.

celebitchy October 26, 2006 at 2:45 pm

I have seriously done this before. This tip has been around for a long time. If your eyes are super puffy there is nothing like Preparation H. If you’re using a new tube or one just for your face, what’s the harm?

Derek Hail October 26, 2006 at 4:26 pm

There isn’t necessarily any harm, but the fact that its made for your ass just kind of bothers me.

I remember in a Maxim I read, they said Urine is actually really good for clearing up acne. Does it mean I’m going to pee on my face? no.

tb October 26, 2006 at 4:56 pm

Hey, if you ever decide to pee on your face. Let me know how you do it. It seems difficult.

Derek Hail October 26, 2006 at 6:17 pm

TB, how would it be difficult? I’m a man.

x October 26, 2006 at 6:19 pm

Christina Ricci said this years ago. Sandra Bullock coming along and saying it some 3-4 years later really isn’t news (not that it’s news anyway, ijs).

Lauren October 26, 2006 at 8:47 pm

Whatever, I still think that ass cream on the face is still nasty. Ever heard of…hmm…I dunno…face cream??

tb October 27, 2006 at 3:28 am

It depends on how tall your upper body is and you have to factor in the pressure of your pee at that point.

MustHaveGoss October 30, 2006 at 4:31 am

Well ass cream on your face is a better option than surgery… I personally think.

Sasho March 14, 2007 at 9:11 am

I’m invite Sandra Bullock on a dinner. Please if you see her give her my e-mail address:

Thank you !

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