Orlando Bloom will always be gay to me

Orlando Bloom, a supposed regulation “hearththrob,” will always remain a closet homosexual to me. Whether or not it is true does not mean anything because I’m entitled to my opinion and today, after reading People Magazine’s interview with Orlando, it just reinforced my belief.

Your costar Zoë Saldaña tells us that kissing you was ‘gross.’ How could she?
I hated kissing Zoë too! I was like, “Take your tongue out of my mouth, please. Your boyfriend is standing right there.” Most people think kissing beautiful costars must be great. But it’s always awkward, man.

He obviously, in my eyes, would rather be kissing Zoë Saldaña’s boyfriend. Or, after seeing Kate Bosworth’s boney chest, prefers women shaped like twelve year old boys. However, I could be wrong.