Nicole Richie needs sustenance and anti-aircraft missiles

September 7, 2006

Posted in: Nicole Richie

Nicole Richie

Nicole Richie‘s dramatic weight loss (pictured above. First picture Stuff 2004, Second Picture taken recently) has been attributed to stress related factors as opposed to the more popular belief “She doesn’t eat regularly,” regularly being once a week. I personally would love to elaborate how I think Nicole is actually pretty hot in Stuff magazine. She doesn’t need a psychiatrist or a doctor at this point. She just needs a chicken quesadila, some hotsauce, and a bag of Spicer Nacho Doritos (they are delicious). Although unhealthy, guaranteed to make you gain some poundage.

Lionel Richie is also worried that his beloved daughter may end up as the next Princess Diana.

“I live with the constant fear that Nicole is going to become the next Princess Diana,” Richie said, apparently referring to the late royal’s death while she was being pursued by paparazzi. “Just to give an example of how crazy everything has become, I always know when Nicole is on her way home because she is always followed by a helicopter and seven cars.  It’s harassment.”

Why would anyone want to follow around someone who doesn’t really do much of anything? They should use those cars and helicopters to follow around much more important people like myself. Not only would my pictures be much more entertaining, I am also much better looking than Nicole Richie.

Below, you can see, Nicole Richie obvoiusly stole some twigs from a developing tree and is trying to pass them off as her legs.

Nicole Richie has ugly legsNicole RichieNicole RichieNicole Richie

[tags]Nicole Richie, Lionel Richie[/tags]

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