Vanity Fair, after reporting a decline in advertising pages by 15% and an increase in circulatiion by 7% late last month, hoisted their publisher off his helm because of his inability to capitalize off the increase in circulation. The new publisher has decided to attract advertising dollars by allowing Tom Cruise and Katie Holmes to showcase a baby called Suri Cruise (I distinctly said a baby because I don’t believe it’s theirs).
What is this new publisher thinking? Your readers hated you for putting Paris Hilton on the cover because of her controversial nature and now you’re putting one of the most controversial relationship and celebrity’s baby as a highlight? Sure everyone would love to see the pictures, but if this child isn’t solving complex discrete math, curing cancer, and blowing up the Galactic Confederacy, everyone is going to be let down. I personally won’t buy this new Vanity Fair issue to buy something much more important and entertaining. A ball of yarn. [source]
I personally don’t see aids and cancer patients lining up to be cured or Xenu running around trying to save the Galactic Confederacy. I’m disappointed. [picture source: ONTD]
[tags]Katie Holmes, Tom Cruise, Suri Cruise[/tags]
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{ 3 comments }
First of all – glad to see that you are back, Derek!
Secondly, I was expecting a fake kid, but this one actually looks like them. I think it’s the real thing. But it’s definitely not going to get me to buy a copy of Vanity Fair.
XENU!! Awesome!! I wont be buying this mullet wrapper either – Tom & the Galactic confederacy scare me – Im a Clearwater, FL native- they have taken over …..
Those VF pics were taken at the end of July. Suri was born at least 2 mos prior to what is officially stated. Suri, in those pics, has to be at least 5 months old per her head/neck control, etc.
5-2=3
They want us to believe those pics were of a 3-month-old baby. Katie had Suri at least by Feb. and faked her pregnancy until April.
Katie meets Tom, disappears for two weeks, and they’re *suddenly* in love without so much as even dating.
Tom bought himself a ready-made family with Katie and Suri, and Chris Klein sold his biological rights to Suri.
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