Tom Cruise and Vanity Fair need help - they call each other

Vanity Fair, after reporting a decline in advertising pages by 15% and an increase in circulatiion by 7% late last month, hoisted their publisher off his helm because of his inability to capitalize off the increase in circulation. The new publisher has decided to attract advertising dollars by allowing Tom Cruise and Katie Holmes to showcase a baby called Suri Cruise (I distinctly said a baby because I don’t believe it’s theirs).

What is this new publisher thinking? Your readers hated you for putting Paris Hilton on the cover because of her controversial nature and now you’re putting one of the most controversial relationship and celebrity’s baby as a highlight? Sure everyone would love to see the pictures, but if this child isn’t solving complex discrete math, curing cancer, and blowing up the Galactic Confederacy, everyone is going to be let down. I personally won’t buy this new Vanity Fair issue to buy something much more important and entertaining. A ball of yarn. [source]

I personally don’t see aids and cancer patients lining up to be cured or Xenu running around trying to save the Galactic Confederacy. I’m disappointed. [picture source: ONTD]

[tags]Katie Holmes, Tom Cruise, Suri Cruise[/tags]