It is not Owen Wilson’s fault

 

“Women have to be responsible for their own orgasm,” originally said by Gloria Steinem but paraphrased by [tag]Owen Wilson[/tag]. The New York Post recently ran a story about the “Butterscotch Stallion” who brought a woman back to his hotel room and licked her buttocks for over two hours. Owen decided to fess up to it and told Rolling Stone, “Ok, so I may not be the greatest lover in the world.”

I always knew there was something “off” about Owen and it’s not his nose. He is a virgin. Actually, almost definately not, but who and why would you lick someones buttocks for over two hours? Was he trying to get to the center of it? Did he want a mouth full of excrement? No, he just didn’t know any better, but now he does. Now I just need to find out where he lives, I have a sex secrets book. I will show him how to give a woman an orgasm, and it starts with picking her nose. Yes, that’s romantic.

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